We fill our lives by putting energy and effort into what matters. There’s a popular demonstration called “Jar of Life” in which a jar is filled with big rocks (important things like family, health, work), little rocks (less important things like sports or hobbies), and sand (unimportant things like watching television or social media). When you fill the jar with the big rocks first, then the little rocks, and finally the sand, everything fits in the jar. If you reverse the process and start with sand, then little rocks, then big rocks, not everything fits in the jar.

The point of the demonstration is that when we fill our time with the most important things first, the little rocks and sand can be worked in, but when our time is consumed by unimportant things, we run out of space for what really matters.

When I perform the demonstration, however, I exchange the big rocks for balloons and pose the question – instead of trying to cram more unimportant things into our jar, what if we decided to put more air into our balloons? In other words, what if we put more time, energy, and effort into the big things that really matter, instead of jamming more unimportant sand into our life? What will be more fulfilling – putting more into the important aspects of your life or spending more time on social media?

There’s nothing wrong with having some little rocks and sand in your jar. We need variety in our lives. We need opportunities to rest and rejuvenate so that when the time comes we can be fully engaged with our balloons. But, when you feel like you’re falling short, when there’s just not enough time in the day, don’t cram in more sand. Put air in your balloons.

60-Second Character Challenge

• What are the critically important “big rocks” or “balloons” in your life?
• What could you do to invest more time and energy into your “balloons?”
• What unimportant sand could you remove from your life in order to invest more energy into your “balloons?

Character Education Objective:

• Students will discuss, based their experience, the impact of messes on their lives, minds, and community.

Content Goal

•  Students will explore ways to demonstrate responsibility by cleaning and organizing their space.

Language Goal:

• Students will share ideas about ways to clean and organize their lives to demonstrate they are responsible citizens of their school, home, and community.

Purpose:
April showers bring May flowers. Spring cleaning and a transition into the coming months of summer is a great opportunity to help students recognize opportunities to show responsibility by cleaning their home, school, and community. Students can demonstrate they are responsible by finding places to clean. 

Lesson:

Stand next to the image that best represents your level of clean. (5 minutes).
(Picture 1, Picture 2, Picture 3, Picture 4, Picture 5, Picture 6)

• In your bedroom
• In your locker
• In your school
• In your car (HS) 
• In your mind

Discuss 1 or 2 with an elbow partner (3 minutes)

• How does clutter and being messy cause problems in people’s lives?
• How have you struggled with clutter in your mind, home, locker, and life throughout this year?
• Rate yourself from 1 (low) to 5 (high) on being responsible and caring for the spaces in your life?

Discuss whole group (3 minutes)

• What does it mean to be responsible? 
• How can being cluttered or having a messy room/locker/backpack or mind show your level of responsibility?

Productive Group Work (7 minutes)
Students read and discuss the Psychology of a Messy Room article. 

https://www.verywellmind.com/psychology-of-a-messy-room-4171244

• How does disorganization or messy spaces make you feel?
• What does the article say about the psychology of a messy room?
• How can we be more responsible by decluttering/cleaning?
• What is one space you are going to clean this week/month?

Family Connection 

• Tech Support 
  • Download a Housecleaning APP
  • Create a chore list in COZI or on a shared note or Google Drive document
• Pillar Time 
  • Create a chore list as a family and post it in a prominent place
  • Go through any storage items and determine if you have used it in the last year, and donate it if not
  • Pick up garbage in the neighborhood as a family 
• Dinner Discussion 
  • What does it mean to be responsible in your family?
  • What is one space in your life that needs to be cleaned?
  • How does keeping an area clean and organized show you are responsible?

Learn more about character education.

The astrologer
An Aesop fable

A man who lived a long time ago believed that he could read the future in the stars. He called himself an Astrologer, and spent his time at night gazing at the sky.

One evening he was walking along the open road outside the village. His eyes were fixed on the stars. He thought he saw there that the end of the world was at hand, when all at once, down he went into a hole full of mud and water.

There he stood up to his ears, in the muddy water, and madly clawing at the slippery sides of the hole in his effort to climb out.

His cries for help soon brought the villagers running. As they pulled him out of the mud, one of them said:

“You pretend to read the future in the stars, and yet you fail to see what is at your feet! This may teach you to pay more attention to what is right in front of you, and let the future take care of itself.”

“What use is it,” said another, “to read the stars, when you can’t see what’s right here on the earth?”

Moral: Take care of the little things and the big things will take care of themselves.

Learn more about character education.

From our guest contributor, Michele Borba.

Here are nine tips I shared with parents on Martha Stewart Living to make homework time more successful this year for your child and you.

1. Know teacher’s expectations

Be clear as to each teacher’s homework policy so you are all on the same page from the get-go. Find out how long should take on the average per night. That answer will help your determine if your child has too much work, is a procrastinator, has a learning disability or lacks study skills. Then talk with your child so he knows you are not only aware of the teachers’ expectations but  also support them.

2. Praise effort and not the “end product“

Kids needs to learn the importance of hard work and effort. Homework also provides a great opportunity for you to reinforce your child’s perseverance.

You might start a family motto such as “Never Give Up!” or “Don’t quit until you succeed” or “In this family, we finish what we start,”

Perhaps the most important trait that doing homework instills in our children is perseverance. And the only way they’ll learn to value effort is by our steady emphasis of “it’s not good enough just to start; you have to finish.”

• Research at Columbia University by Carol Dweck found that when you emphasize Effort “You’re working so hard” over Smarts “You’re so smart, you can do it!” you actually will increase your child’s persistence.

3. Be a guider not doer

Insist homework be your child’s responsibility not yours. Resist the temptation of always sitting next to her and offer your help only when it’s really needed. If your child is having difficulties, help her understand the work by making up similar problems and showing her step by step how to do it. Then watch her try to do one on her own. That way you won’t be doing all the work for her.

Asking her to show you her completed work at the end of each row or section is another way to ensure she’s following the directions correctly but not relying on you for every detail.

You can start “weaning” a child from having you sit right next to her by saying: “You do the first one. We’ll do the next together.” Then the next week: “You do the first row. I’ll check the next row.” The next week: “You do the first half. I’ll come back and check the second half.”

You’re using the baby step model and slowing weaning your child from you always doing and being there. Your goal is to merely check completed work. If you always do it with your child you’ll never be able to help the child do the task alone at school. Right?

4. Make homework be required…not a choice

From the beginning of the school year maintain a firm, serious attitude about homework. Your kid needs to know that homework is not an option. Enforce the “work before play” rule.

5. Develop a weekly homework reminder

Teach your child to create a simple reminder of daily or weekly assignments as well as a long-term projects and reports. A white board or chalkboard is preferable because it is reusable. Just be sure to hang it in a central place.

List the days of the week, and then help the child jot down regular daily or weekly assignments. For instance: Monday: Sharing; Wednesday: Library; Friday: Spelling Test.

Use photographs or icons for nonreaders (for example a picture of a book for library day). The ultimate goal is for your child to track of his own daily assignments without your reminders, but you know that will take some time.

6. Create a special homework spot

Involve your child in the selection of a specific place to do homework and stock it with necessary school supplies. The general rule is the younger the child, the closer that spot will be near you. Put the computer in a place where you can carefully view what your child is doing online.

7. Set a homework routine

Select a time that works best for your kid to do his—after school, before dinner, after dinner—then stick to it. Ask your child for his input and do try to accommodate his schedule. A set and predictable schedule helps defray the battles and gets your kid on a routine.

You may want to even post your agreement in a visible place and then sign it.

Many kids need a break after school, while others like to delve right in.

Find your child’s best time work time and consistently reinforce it. Drawing a clock face that shows the set homework time is helpful for younger children.

8. Teach study skills

A common reason for homework battles is that the child hasn’t learned essential study skills. Here are a few such skills to help your child:

• Make a ‘To Do’ list first: Help your child make a list of what needs to be done in order of priority, and then cross each off as completed. A young child can draw a different task on paper strips  put them in the order he plans to complete each homework, and then tear off a strip as each task is finished until no more remain.
• Chunk tasks: Tell your child to do  “one chunk at a time” to seem less overwhelming then gradually increase the size of the “work chunks” as your child’s confidence and ability increases.
• Do the hardest first: Encourage your child to do the hardest assignment first since it takes more concentration and longer to do.
• Play “beat the clock: To help with time management, give your child an oven-timer or stopwatch. Tell him to set the time for a specified amount (that he can do.. like five minutes) and encourage him to work by himself until the time runs out. Gradually stretch the time as your child’s attention span increases.
• Put finished tasks away, ASAP: Set a routine that the finished task is immediately put into a folder, placed in the backpack and set by the door ready for next morning.

9. Consider a getting a tutor

If you do find homework battles increasing, you are doing most of your child’s work or your child is having a difficult time mastering the subject despite your help, consider hiring a tutor. Ask your teacher or other parents for recommendations including even a high school student. The goal of homework should always be to enhance your child’s learning abilities and confidence while at the same time preserving the relationship with your child.

Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, parenting expert, TODAY show contributor and author of 22 books including The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries and UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World.

Check out: micheleborba.com or follow her on Twitter @micheleborba.

Learn more about character education.

Learn more about character education.

The hare and the tortoise
An Aesop fable

A Hare was making fun of the Tortoise one day for being so slow.

“Do you ever get anywhere?” he asked with a mocking laugh.

“Yes,” replied the Tortoise, “and I get there sooner than you think. I’ll run you a race and prove it.”

The Hare was much amused at the idea of running a race with the Tortoise, but for the fun of the thing he agreed. So the Fox, who had consented to act as judge, marked the distance and started the runners off.

The Hare was soon far out of sight, and to make the Tortoise feel very deeply how ridiculous it was for him to try a race with a Hare, he lay down beside the course to take a nap until the Tortoise should catch up.

The Tortoise meanwhile kept going slowly but steadily, and, after a time, passed the place where the Hare was sleeping. But the Hare slept on very peacefully; and when at last he did wake up, the Tortoise was near the goal. The Hare now ran his swiftest, but he could not overtake the Tortoise in time.

Moral: Slow and steady (and humble!) wins the race. 

Learn more about character education.

Learn more about character education.

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