Dream it

@TheRayCenter

Learn more about character education.




Look twice

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts

Look twice
Author Unknown

Once upon a time, there lived two frogs in a marsh and they were very happy there.

However, as the hot summer approached the marsh began to dry up. The frogs decided to leave and look for another place for themselves and discovered a deep well. They sat on the edge of the well and peered inside. The well was full with cool water.

One of the frogs was overjoyed to see the water and said, “This well looks like a nice place for us to live. It will be cool and safe inside. Let’s jump in!”

The other frog was wise and replied, “Not so soon, my friend! We left the marsh when it had dried up. So, think about how we will be able to get out of the well if it dries up.”

The first frog was speechless and realized that one must think before taking a step.

Moral: Think twice before you act. You may save yourself from trouble. 

Learn more about character education.




Everyday citizenship

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts

Citizenship can be one of the more difficult Pillars of Character to define and teach. But, we can all demonstrate good citizenship every day by the way we treat people and take care of one another. Click here to watch a video featuring students provide a great example of citizenship. At the conclusion of the video, ask students:

  1. What examples of citizenship did you see in the video?
  2. Why are those examples of good citizenship?
  3. What was the impact of being a good citizen? Who was helped? How were they helped?
  4. Citizenship is about taking action to make the world a better place for others. What could you do (as a students, as a class, as a group) to show good citizenship? What impact can you have?

Explaining citizenship to students can be challenging but providing your students with real life examples can help them understand this key component to good character!

Learn more about character education.




The milkmaid and her pail

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts

The milkmaid and her pail
An Aesop fable

A milkmaid had been out to milk the cows and was returning from the field with the shining milk pail balanced nicely on her head. As she walked along, her pretty head was busy with plans for the days to come.

“This good, rich milk,” she mused, “will give me plenty of cream to churn. The butter I make I will take to market, and with the money I get for it I will buy a lot of eggs for hatching. How nice it will be when they are all hatched and the yard is full of fine young chicks. Then when May day comes I will sell them, and with the money I’ll buy a lovely new dress to wear to the fair. All the young men will look at me. They will come and try to be sweet with me,—but I shall very quickly send them about their business!”

As she thought of how she would settle that matter, she tossed her head scornfully, and the pail of milk fell to the ground. All the milk spilled out, and with it vanished butter and eggs and chicks and a new dress and all the milkmaid’s pride.

Moral: Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.

Learn more about character education.




Waves of change

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts




Helping kids rebound from mistakes

@TheRayCenter

From our guest contributor, Michele Borba. 

Be an example of bouncing back. The first step is the most important: model to your children how you bounce back. My girlscout leader years ago, Mrs. Flora Cox, was an expert. Before she started a task she wasn’t sure she could do (such as lighting a fire with sticks or setting up a tent) she’d always say, “I’m not stopping until I succeed.” And she made sure we overheard her. We soon found ourselves copying her words. I now realize she intentionally made a few mistakes, but did so to show us she wouldn’t give up. Her example was lasting. So take a pledge to show your children how you won’t give up at the first signs of difficulty.

Set realistic expectations. A critical part of bouncing back is making sure your expectations are ones each child is capable of achieving. Look for ways to stretch your children’s confidence and abilities, but never to a point where it snaps their spirit. It’s a fine line, so make sure you’re on the right path. These questions help you assess if your expectations are realistic:

  • Is it reasonable or am I expecting too much?
  • Does he have the skills and knowledge to achieve my expectation?
  • Is it what she wants or I want for myself?
  • Am I conveying that I believe he’s capable?

Start a “bounce back!” motto. Develop a family motto to remind your children not to let mistakes get them down. A mother told me she spent one Saturday morning brainstorming mottoes with her family such as “Mistakes Don’t Get Us Down!” “The Family that Doesn’t Quit,” and “We Don’t Give Up!” The girls then selected one and created a poster to remind them. Each child then cross-stitched the motto onto a cloth square, sewed it into a pillow, and put it on their bed to remember.

Create a “Stick to It” award. Ask your children to find a thick stick on a hike at least the length of a ruler. Print “Stick to It Award” across the stick with a black marking pen. Explain that it means “hanging in there and not giving up until you finish what you started.” Then tell your family to be on alert the next few weeks for other family members showing special “stick-to-itness” and report them to you. Each evening announce the names, and print their initials on the stick. Make sure to tell the recipients what they did to deserve the award. You might even set a contest to see how long it takes to fill the stick with your children’s initials.

Help children see mistakes as opportunities. I watched a teacher give a piece of rug yarn to each student on the first school day. She said, “This year you’ll be making lots of mistakes. That’s how you learn.” She explained that she wouldn’t be watching their mistakes, but instead to see if they learned from them. Each time they made a mistake-then bounced back-they were to tie a knot in the yarn. After each knot she’d ask them to explain what they learned from their mistake. Her technique helped her class recognize that mistakes can be a chance to start again, and it’s an essential part of learning to rebound. You might try the idea with your family.

Respond to errors noncritically. Many children cut short their opportunities to succeed because they give up when they make mistakes. So the next time your child errs, here are few ways to respond:

  • Stay nonjudgmental and help him focus on what she’s trying to achieve. Calmly ask, “How did you want this to turn out?”
  • Fight the temptation to say, “I told you so.” Instead try, “That’s interesting” or “That wasn’t what you had in mind, was it?”
  • Don’t shame or ridicule. Nobody likes to make mistakes, and everybody hates to be reminded of making them.
  • Help him learn from the mistake. A big part of bouncing back is learning from the error. Ask, “What did you learn?” or “What will you do differently next time?”
  • Teach an affirmation to bounce back. Select a phrase such as: “It doesn’t have to be perfect,” “It’s OK to make mistakes,” or “Everybody makes mistakes,” then help her practice saying it to encourage herself to bounce back.

Offer support only when needed. No parent wants their children to suffer disappointments, and often our first instinct is to try to remedy their mistakes for them. Doing so deprives them of chances to find solutions and rebound from defeat. So offer help only when really needed, and convey confidence in their abilities to succeed. You might say, “I know you can do it. Hang in there.” Of course, when your son or daughter finds the task too difficult and quits, support them. Then help them recognize what they could do the next time so they do succeed.

The difference between successful and unsuccessful people often lies in how they view their mistakes. By using everyday moments you can help your children not only learn to rebound from mistakes, but also strengthen their self-confidence. And those are two critical lessons they’ll use the rest of their lives.

Michele BorbaDr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, parenting expert, TODAY show contributor and author of 22 books including The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries and UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World.

Check out: micheleborba.com or follow her on Twitter @micheleborba.

Learn more about character education.




Goal achievement

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts

Summer vacation is here and now is the perfect time for kids to achieve a goal.  Ask your kids what goal they would like to achieve by the end of the summer.  It could be anything from learning to ride a bike, to reading a certain number of books, to making new friends, growing a garden, make money mowing lawns, or any number of other goals.  The following steps will help your kids create a plan to achieve their goal.

  • Establish a goal. It should be realistic, specific, and measurable.  “Get better at reading” is not specific and measurable, but “Read 100 books by Aug. 20” is.
  • Ask, what steps will you need to take in order to achieve that goal?  Are your steps in the right order?  Are your steps specific and measurable?  If you want to read 100 books by Aug. 20th, how many books a week is that?  About how many minutes a day should you read?  What is a good time of day to do your reading?  The more specific the plan, the more likely the goal will be achieved.
  • Ask, who can help you with your goal?  Who can hold you accountable to each step?
  • Help students determine when and how they will measure their progress.

Helping students develop a goal achievement plan is a wonderful skill to develop.  Plus, students will feel great that they achieved something special!

Learn more about character education.




You are

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts




Believe it is possible

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts

Learn more about character education.




The other side of the wall

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts

The other side of the wall
By: Randy Reynolds

There was a young woman who took great pride in the growth and care of the flowers in her flower garden. She had been raised by her grandmother who taught her to love and care for flowers as she herself had done. So, like her grandmother, her flower garden was second to none.

One day while looking through a flower catalogue she often ordered from, a picture of a plant immediately caught her eye. She had never seen blooms on a flower like that before. “I have to have it,” she said to herself, and she immediately ordered it. When it arrived, she already had a place prepared to plant it. She planted it at the base of a stone wall at the back of her yard.

It grew vigorously, with beautiful green leaves all over it, but there were no blooms. Day after day she continued to cultivate it, water it, feed it, and she even talked to it attempting to coax it to bloom. But, it was to no avail.

One morning weeks later, as she stood before the vine, she contemplated how disappointed she was that her plant had not bloomed. She was giving considerable thought to cutting it down and planting something else in its place. It was at this point that her invalid neighbor, whose lot joined hers, called over to her. “Thank you so much! You can’t imagine how much I have enjoyed the blooms of that vine you planted.”

The young woman walked through the gate into her neighbor’s yard, and sure enough, she saw that on the other side of the wall the vine was filled with blooms. There were indeed the most beautiful blooms she had ever seen. The vine had crept through the crevices and it had not flowered on her side of the fence, it had flowered luxuriantly on the other side.

Moral: Just because you can’t see the result of your hard work doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth the effort. 

Learn more about character education.