Students recognize the central role honesty plays in generating trust and they demonstrate their honesty in their communications in three ways:

1. Truthfulness. Students are truthful; everything they say is true to the best of their knowledge (i.e., they do not lie);
2. Sincerity. Students are sincere. This means they always convey the truth as best they can by avoiding all forms of accidental or intentional deception, distortion or trickery (e.g., it is dishonest to tell only part of the truth in an effort to create a false impression or deliberately omit important facts with the intent to create a false impression); and
3. Candor. Students know that certain relationships (e.g., parent-child, teacher-student, best friends) create a very high expectation of trust. In these relationships, honesty requires them to be candid and forthright by volunteering information to assure that they are conveying the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. (e.g., a student who accidentally spills soda on a school computer must voluntarily tell the teacher without being asked; a student who breaks her mother’s favorite vase must tell her mother voluntarily).

Character Education Objectives:

• Students will reflect on how trust is built and broken in a friendship.

Content Goal

•  Students will define trustworthy behaviors and demonstrate the impact of broken trust.

Language Goal:

• Students will write about things they can do to build their own trustworthy behaviors.

Purpose:

Trust in a relationship is not built overnight. It takes a series of trustworthy actions and behaviors to build it up. Unfortunately, one untrustworthy action can break trust instantly. This lesson is designed to demonstrate how our actions impact trust in a friendship and allow students to explore the concepts of truthfulness, sincerity and candor. 

Lesson:

Discussion (5 min)
Have a large or small group discussion about what does being trustworthy mean? Talk about what it looks like and what is does not look like. Ask students to share examples of trustworthiness they have seen.

Activity (10 min)
Build a trust tower. 

1. Give each child a few blocks. You can use Jenga blocks, building blocks or anything you have in the classroom. You want the students to be able to successfully build the tower, so be sure to plan with the right number of blocks. The best plan is to build the tower with layers of three blocks each, alternating direction on each layer. See the game Jenga for an example.
2. Ask the students one by one to come up and build a tower of trust. Each block represents something they can do to build trust. Ask students to say out loud what they can do to build trust as they place the block. Give all students an opportunity to add one or multiple blocks until you have your tower.
3. Explain to students that you have built this wonderful tower of trust. It’s much like a friendship and it takes work to build by consistently being trustworthy. Sometimes we choose actions that are not trustworthy and that will start to break down that tower.
4. Have prepared statements of untrustworthy actions from your discussion ready. Read a statement and ask one student pull one block for each statement. The student can choose any block. Continue until the tower falls.

Discussion (10 min)
Talk with students about how trust in friendships is built just like they built the tower. One by one your actions show the other person you are trustworthy. When you choose a behavior or action that is untrustworthy it starts to break down that tower. The first untrustworthy action may not knock the tower down, but it may. Could it be the second time? The third? You never know when that tower will fall and that trust will break.

Ask the students to discuss the following questions:

• Is it easier to build trust or to break it down?
• How do you rebuild trust with a friend once it has been broken?
• Are there any times it is ok to be dishonest?

Journal (5 min)
What can I do to be more trustworthy?

Family Connection:

Ask families to replicate the activity you did in class, but think about how they build trust in their family.

1. Draw a line down a piece of paper. On one side write/draw examples of how they show trustworthiness in the family. On the other side write/draw examples of what untrustworthy behaviors could be in the family.
2. You are going to build a trust tower. You will need blocks. Fifteen blocks are great, as you can lay them in 5 layers with 3 blocks in each layer while alternating directions. The game Jenga is a great reference point for this.
3. Ask each family member to place one block at a time. As they place the block, ask them to share something they can do personally to help build trust in the family. Repeating answers is ok because it is all about what that individual can do. Continue until you have a tower of trustworthy behavior.
4. Now, look at your list you made. Read your untrustworthy behaviors one at a time. As you read them, have someone pull any block from the tower. As you start to pull blocks, talk about how sometimes you choose behaviors that are untrustworthy. One time probably will not knock down the tower, but it might. Could it be two behaviors? Three? You never know when that tower of trust that you worked so hard to build in your family may fall.
5. Have a discussion with your family around the following questions:
   • How do we rebuild trust in our family once it has been broken?
   • Is it easier to build trust or destroy trust? Why?

Learn more about character education.

From guest contributor Dr. Michele Borba

One thing is certain, kids aren’t born hateful. Prejudices are learned. Hatred and intolerance can also be learned, but so too can sensitivity, understanding, empathy, and tolerance. If today’s children are to have any chance of living harmoniously in our multiethnic world, it is critical that parents nurture it.

Here are seven solutions you can use that help curtail bigotry while at the same time influence your kids to treat others with respect and understanding. Here are ways to do so:

1. Confront Your Prejudices, Pronto!

The first step to nurturing tolerance is to examine your own prejudices and reflect on how you might be projecting those ideas to your child. Chances are that you are communicating those attitudes to your child. Make a conscious attempt to temper them so that they don’t become your child’s prejudices.

2. Commit to Raising a Tolerant Child

Parents who think through how they want their kids to turn out usually succeed simply because they planned their parenting efforts. So if you really want your child to respect diversity, you must adopt a conviction early on to raise him to do so. Once your child knows your expectations, he will be more likely to embrace your principles.

3. Refuse to Allow Discriminatory Comments, Period! 

When you hear prejudicial comments, verbalize your displeasure. How you respond sends a clear message to your child about your values:

“That’s disrespectful and I won’t allow such things to be said in my house.” or “That’s a biased comment, and I don’t want to hear it.”

Your child needs to hear your discomfort so that she knows you really walk your talk. It also models a response she should imitate if prejudicial comments are made in her presence.

4. Embrace Diversity

From a young age, expose your child to positive images-including toys, music, literature, videos, public role models, and examples from TV or newspaper reports-that represent a variety of ethnic groups.

Encourage your child, no matter how young, to have contact with individuals of different races, religions, cultures, genders, abilities, and beliefs.

The more your child sees how you embrace diversity, the more prone he’ll be to follow your standards and be more empathic and tolerant.

5. Emphasize Similarities

Encourage your child to look for what he has in common with others instead of how he is different. Any time your child points out how she is different from someone, you might say.

“There are lots of ways you are different from other people. Now let’s try to think of ways you are the same.” 

Help her see how similarities outweigh differences.

6. Counter Discriminatory Beliefs

When you hear a child make a prejudicial comment, listen to find out why he feels the way he does. Then gently challenge his views and point out why they are incorrect. For example if your child says:

“Homeless people should get jobs and sleep in their own houses.”

You might counter:

“There are many reasons homeless people don’t work or have houses. They may be ill or can’t find jobs. Houses cost money, and not everyone can pay for one.” 

Stereotypes lead to prejudice. Stop them!

7. Be the Example You Want Copied! 

The best way for your child to learn tolerance is for him to watch and listen to your daily example.

Ask yourself each day one critical question: “If my child had only my behavior to copy, would he be witnessing an example of what I want him to emulate?”

Make sure you are walking your talk.

Hatred, bigotry, prejudice, and intolerance can be learned, but so too can sensitivity, understanding, empathy, and tolerance. Although it’s certainly never too late to begin, the sooner we start nurturing tolerance in our children, the better the chance we have of preventing insidious, intolerant attitudes from taking hold.

There has never been a time when it is most important to do so than now.

Learn more about character education.

By Jeff Kluever, Director of Programs

COVID-19 has disrupted our lives in countless ways, not the least of which was moving many schools to online delivery for the rest of the spring semester, and the cancellation of all high school spring sports. The suddenness of this change caught all of us off guard, and coaches were no exception.  Coaches, teachers, and parents must help guide their students through adversity, and cope with stress and loss, including the loss of a season.  We asked Drake Women’s Basketball Coach Jennie Baranczyk to share a few thoughts with coaches on how she dealt with the sudden cancellation of her season.

One way to help students cope with the loss of their season is to help them think positively.  For coaches interested in some sort of activity to provide positive closure for a team who lost their season, consider asking your team to write a letter to their sport. In this letter, they should write about what they’ve gained by participating on this team – the lessons they’ve learned, friendships they made, skills they’ve developed, and so on. As an example, you may share the letter Kobe Bryant wrote to basketball, found here: https://www.theplayerstribune.com/en-us/articles/dear-basketball.

Nothing will replace a lost season, but hopefully this activity can help your students think about not the season they lost, but all that they gained by participating in your activity.

Learn more about character education.

It’s important to set aside time to reflect on how you’re managing stress.

View previous posts in this series:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

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Is your mind ready for stress?

Did you miss parts 1-3?

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Learn more about character education.

What are actions that you need to take when you are experiencing stress in the moment?

Did you miss out on previous episodes of this series?

Part 1
Part 2

Learn more about character education.

A key part of managing stress is mindset. Check out part 2 of our 5 part series on managing stress.

Did you miss part 1? Check it out here.

Learn more about character education.

In a time of great uncertainty, our ability to identify and manage stress is critically important.  Over the next five days, we will share strategies to help you manage your stress during these challenging times.  If you follow along, by the end of the week, you can create a personal plan to manage your stress.

Just four weeks ago, we were all going to work, planning spring break vacations, looking forward to graduation ceremonies, and walking into grocery stores assured that we could purchase every item on our list.  Today, we are all dealing with challenges none of us expected just a month ago.  The onset of the COVID-19 has caused stress, anxiety, and change in routines and behaviors on a global scale. It is in these times of emotional peaks when remaining civil can be a challenge.  Here are three things to remember in these challenging circumstances:

• Assume Best Intentions – No one wanted the coronavirus to happen.  Nobody wished for it.  No one was sitting a back room thinking, “oh, I can’t wait to cancel everyone’s plans for the next several months.”  We are all reacting to the unknown and the vast majority of people and organizations are doing the best they can.  Give people the benefit of the doubt.
• Choose My Response – Years ago, a man named Jack Canfield created a formula E+R=O, or Event + Response = Outcome, and explained that we spend far too much time focusing on the EVENT (which we can’t change because it already happened), and instead should focus on our RESPONSE (which is entirely within our control).  Even in the most uncertain times, we all have 100% control over our response to the events swirling around us.  The coronavirus happened.  It is here.  You cannot change that event.  Nor can you snap your fingers and re-start March Madness, get kids back in school, or make toilet paper re-appear on store shelves.  What you CAN control is your response to the events, and it is your response that impacts the outcome.

  For example, my cousin had her wedding scheduled for March 21^st, and by the time the happy day arrived, no more than 10 people could attend her ceremony.  The months of planning and preparation for wonderful ceremony and reception, all gone because of this virus.  Surely, she was disappointed that her wedding day was up-ended, but she chose to respond with joy and grace, rather than bitterness.  And, by choosing a positive response, she got the best outcome she could given the circumstances she was in.  She got married to the man she loves, she shared that moment with family and friends with a live stream of the ceremony, and she is planning to celebrate with a new reception when conditions allow.  That’s choosing a great response, which will ultimately yield a positive outcome.

Finally, remember that the response you choose is an EVENT, that someone else must now deal with.  Is your response a positive event for someone else, or a negative one?

• Choose Grace – And if you’re ever struggling to determine what your response should be, choose grace.  Each one of us is going through some change or struggle, and there is no reason for us to make that struggle harder for one another.  This is hard.  Don’t make things harder.  Be considerate.  Be kind.  Spend more time helping with solutions than pointing out problems.

For months before the arrival of COVID-19, the news was full of stories about how divided we are as a nation – politically, racially, geographically, economically, and so on.  Now, in this moment, we must find success together.  Assume best intentions.  Choose your Response.  Choose Grace.  Take care of one another – even if it is from six feet away.

Learn more about character education.

It’s easy to get caught up in the stress of everyday life. Here’s a few tips to keep a positive mindset.

1. Be Grateful – at some point during your day (perhaps at dinner) ask each member of your family to say three things that they are grateful for today. Ask them to make their answers specific to today. For example, saying “I’m grateful for my family,” isn’t specific to today. Saying, “I’m grateful that I have a dad who read with me today,” is specific.
2. Journaling – ask your child to spend five minutes journaling about something they are thankful for from that day. Journaling about a positive experience allows us to relive the experience, which helps us build a positive mindset (while also working on writing skills).
3. Exercise – studies show that exercise helps our brains feel more positive.
4. Meditation – simple meditation exercises help our brains de-clutter and focus. Apps like Headspace can help you get started with meditation.
5. Random Acts of Kindness – we can always do nice things for others – either in our family or community.
6. Connection– reach out to friends and family via text, phone, video chat, or even old-fashioned letters.

Learn more about character education.