Editorial by:
Scott Raecker, Executive Director, The Robert D. and Billie Ray Center, Drake University
Connie Ryan, Executive Director, Interfaith Alliance of Iowa
Jay Byers, CEO, The Greater Des Moines Partnership
Kristi Knous, President, Community Foundation of Greater Des Moines

With the upcoming midterm elections, Iowans have an opportunity to change the dynamics by showing civility toward one another in their conversation and interactions.

While it is easy to get caught up in the energy and fervor of the election season, we know that everyone has a different life experience and therefore a different lens through which to see the world. We urge Iowans to express their passion for issues and candidates, but in a respectful manner. We believe that influencing others and advancing critical issues in meaningful ways requires respect for others.

Freedom of speech is an indispensable American value, and we have an incredible opportunity to utilize this foundational right to positively impact the future.

As the four civic organizations that comprise the Show Some Respect campaign, we encourage Iowans to be civil in their discussions on issues and in support of their candidates. Hopefully others, including the candidates, will follow our lead.

Here are six ways that you can be more respectful during the election season:

1. Be honest (with others and yourself) about the information you distribute regarding candidates, policies, and opinions. Make sure the information is coming from a reliable source before you click “share.”
2. Be tolerant of other viewpoints. You do not have to agree with another person’s beliefs in order to show them respect. Remember, just because you are passionate about an issue doesn’t make you right.
3. Don’t start political arguments that you know will hurt other people’s feelings or damage relationships.  Keep in mind that not everyone enjoys debating the issues.
4. Take time to learn about the candidates and the issues. Get information from reliable sources. Don’t rely on negative tv ads or social media to research the candidates.  Learn about the candidates from non-partisan sources.
5. Consider all viewpoints. It may not change the way you vote, but it will help you make an informed decision.
6. If you aren’t sure what to do in a tricky situation, treat others the way you want to be treated.

Civility is not about changing your mind and agreeing with another person. Civility is having respect for another person as a human being, regardless of his or her views, and behaving in a way that is reflective of that respect. It is the hope of the Show Some Respect campaign that all Iowans will give and receive respect in this election season as we seek to make our state better for all who call it home.

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We can all play a part in improving respect and civility in our community. To help achieve this goal, our expectations are that we will:

• Listen attentively
  Stay in the moment.  Pay attention to what is being said instead of thinking ahead to what you want to say in response.
• Respect the opinions of others
  You don’t have to agree.  Respect that others have their own experiences that shape their opinions.
• Keep an open mind
  Take time to weigh all sides of an issue.
• Give constructive comments, suggestions & feedback
  Before you speak, ask yourself if what you have to say is helpful, civil, and necessary.
• Avoid personal attacks
  Getting personal doesn’t advance the conversation, and doesn’t build a positive rebut.
• Remember the things we have in common
  Start with what you agree on.  You may have less disagreement than you thought.
• Value people, the process, and the results
  If others are willing to discuss difficult issues, show appreciation for their participation and the results.

For you to consider:

What other meetings could you use these expectations? Are people in leadership positions being good role models of respectful behavior? Are there any additional expectations that would be beneficial for your group to add?

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Maria was concerned that her son, Tim, had a few bad habits.  As they were walking through the park, Maria had an idea.  Stopping suddenly, she asked Tim to pull out a weed growing by the sidewalk.

 Tim held the weed between his thumb and forefinger and pulled it out. Maria then asked him to pull out a slightly bigger weed. Tim pulled hard and the plant came out, roots and all.

 “Now pull out that one,” said Maria, pointing to a very large weed. The boy had to use all his strength to pull it out.

 “Now take this one out,” said Maria, pointing at a tree. Tim grasped the trunk and tried to pull it out. But it would not budge. “It’s impossible,” said Tim.

 “It is the same with bad habits,” said Maria. “When they are young it is easy to pull them out.  But once they have grown, it is difficult for them to be uprooted.”

Showing civility and good character is easier when it is a habit rather than an infrequent random act. The more we practice civility, not only will it become easier, it will remain rooted into who we are.

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From our guest contributor, Nancy Justis

“Civility” comes from the Latin word “civilitas”,  which means city.  A city has to be a place of civil behavior.  Similar to how laws set the guidelines for society, rules are critical to every sport.

A game is something that takes place according to the rules.  Cheating on the rules is as much a threat to the game as lawless behavior is a threat to civilization.  Civility is not a luxury.  It’s essential to the preservation and enjoyment of the game.  If we can’t trust the rules and enforce them, we can’t trust the game.

According to the NYU Sports and Society program, “Sports are often referred to as fun and games.  And they are, but they are far more than that.  Sports are a reflection of the most fundamental norms and values that shape human society.  Sports represent escape from the world, but they also are a huge presence within the world, accounting for hundreds of billions of dollars in revenue and bringing together more nations and groups than any political entity is capable of doing.

“Sports are a test bed for science and medicine, as well as for teaching, communicating and mentoring.  Sports are big business.  Sports fuel the media.  Sports are critical to advertising and merchandising many of the world’s most lucrative products.  Sports shape the beliefs and values of our children.  Sports have and can lead the way in societal reform and ethical progress.  Sports create our heroes, villains, and pariahs.”

And according to the Josephson Institute Center for Sports Ethics and the Arizona Sports Summit Accord, “sports can and should enhance the character and uplift the ethics of the nation.  Participation in sports is a privilege, not a right.  At its best, athletic competition can hold intrinsic value for our society.  It is a symbol of a great ideal:  pursuing victory with honor.  Sports are a major social force that shapes the quality and character of the American culture.”

Sports in itself is an entertainment culture.  However, youth sports needs to be a development zone culture, striving towards “Better Athletes, Better People”, the goal of the Iowa Youth Sports Initiative in step with Positive Coaching Alliance.  The culture of “win at all costs” has no place in youth sports.  Adults taking over the sports play from the kids has no place in youth sports.  Breaking the bank for travel teams, club play versus school play, both of which eliminate certain sections of the populace, have no place in youth sports. 

How did we get here?

The culture and pressures to win over learning life lessons and simply having fun have materialized at the top and have trickled down to youth sports.  Having power over rather than respect for the game.  That’s difficult to turn off once it’s been turned on.

Bullying,  harassment and intimidation are often tolerated because they become perceived as normal.  This is especially true where high-energy, high-ambition attitudes prevail such as in a locker room.  Peers can look at bullies as popular leaders worthy of respect.  They often have high social status which grants them power.

Abusive conduct such as bullying cannot exist but for an organizational culture that allows it.  Sports programs are inherently competitive, and contact sports encourage aggressive behavior.  When athletes are rewarded for running faster, hitting harder and throwing further than their peers, it is understandable that especially younger athletes have difficulty understanding that aggressive behavior is unacceptable beyond the boundaries of the game.

Research shows that those bullied are seven times more likely to be depressed and are more likely to be suicidal.  Bullies have a greater risk of health and stability problems, including higher rates of alcoholism, drug use, and of dropping out. 

Each of us should look at ourselves and ask if we’ve personally had experiences with disrespect, abuse or bullying by a coach, athlete or parent.  What did you do about it?

How do you develop a positive locker room culture?  The Honor Call system is one way.  A Northwestern College volleyball coach developed the system where players self-report when they touch a ball even if the referees don’t see the infraction.  She and her staff initiated a series of concepts that would help her players govern life both on and off the court, including integrity.

Each of us is responsible for positive outcomes.  How we get there is what’s important.  Respect and sportsmanship do not come naturally.  We want to win, but not at all costs — it’s about the journey.  To be ethical is a deliberative thought.

For more information on civility in youth sports, click here.

Nancy Justis has over 40 years of journalistic experience ranging from newspaper and magazine writing and editing, to collegiate public relations. At a time when women were a virtual non-entity in the athletics media relations field, she blazed the trail.  She has over 30 years of experience in the promotion of sports teams and working with student-athletes.  She was Sports Information Director/Assistant Athletics Director for Media Relations at the University of Northern Iowa for most of those years, publicizing the Panthers’ nationally-recognized men’s basketball and football teams. She is a member of the Cedar Valley Character Counts Committee and serves on the board of the Cedar Valley Sports Commission.  She freelance writes for various publications.

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As election day approaches, Show Some Respect will focus on providing tips to help us all be more civil – like 6 Tips to Showing Respect During Election Season.

Additionally, The Ray Center and Show Some Respect are honored to join the Institute for Civil Discourse in calling on the presidential debate moderators to adopt a set of Debate Standards designed to ensure that the 2016 Presidential Debates are fair, informative, and civil.

More than 60 organizations signed on to the debate standards, which include guidelines for moderators, the audience, and the candidates themselves.

This election is the most uncivil in recent memory, and Americans agree. According to recent polling, 69 percent of Americans agree that civility has decreased in the last few years, and 2 out of 3 voters say the 2016 campaign is less civil than other elections.

Standards of Conduct for Debates

 I want debaters to:

1. Be respectful of others in speech and behavior
2. Answer the question being asked by the moderator
3. Make ideas and feelings known without disrespecting others
4. Take responsibility for past and present behavior, speech and actions
5. Stand against incivility when faced with it

I want moderators to:

1. Address uncivil behavior by naming it and moderating the conversation to move toward a more respectful dialogue
2. Enforce debate rules equally
3. Hold candidates accountable by challenging each candidate to speak the truth and act with integrity
4. Treat all candidates equally in regards to the complexity of questions and debate rules
5. Be respectful when interacting with candidates

I want audience members to:

1. Be respectful of other audience members, the candidates and moderators in speech and behavior
2. Refrain from creating disturbances to other audience members, candidates and moderators
3. Take responsibility for personal behavior, speech and actions
4. Speak against incivility by reminding candidates it is not acceptable
5. Practice active listening when someone else is speaking, seeking to understand them

These Standards of Conduct for Debates provide a framework through which we can model and revive the spirit of civility. The standards are for all candidates for public office, (including local, regional, state and national candidates), for moderators and for the audience. From our local school boards to our presidential nominees, these standards help explain the manner and respect that we all should abide by – even if and when we disagree.

Join us in telling debaters, audiences, and moderators to uphold these standards, and in agreeing to utilize the citizen standards in your everyday interactions.  

#ShowSomeRespect  #ReviveCivility  #CharacterCounts

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