Character Education Objective:

• Students will discuss how connection increases communication and collaboration. 

Content Objective:

•  Students will discuss what the Six Pillars look like in them, their friends and the people they admire.

Language Objective:

• Students will journal about how they can actively work to connect with one another.

Purpose:

Including intentional connection time with your students is a great way to show the importance of connecting with one another. When we are connected we communicate better, collaborate more successfully and assume better intentions in one another. We often think of connection as something to check off the list at the beginning of the year a getting to know you activity, but in reality it is something that needs to happen regularly. The following activity will allow students to connect over character traits they see in themselves and those that are important to them. 

Lesson 

• Watch “Six Pillar Shuffle” and encourage the students to dance along.
• Electricity Split the students in two equal groups. Each group will be a team. Encourage them to get together and create team names. One team will get in a line standing shoulder to shoulder and all facing one way. The other team will get in another line shoulder to shoulder and facing the other team. The lines should be a few feet apart. There should be an aisle between the lines.
• If students point directly in front them, they should be pointing at only one student and one student should be pointing at them. This is their partner for the first round. Have students discuss the following question with their partner: What’s your favorite cartoon character?Now, students will play a game to get their next partner. To set up, you keep the teams in their lines and determine which side will be the start and which side will be the end of the line. At the end of the line, place an item on the ground evenly between the last two players of each team. The game is passing a high five down their team’s line from the starting side until it gets to the last person. The only rule is that you may not pass the high five until the high five is given to you.
• Once the high five hits the last person then the last person will grab the item from the ground. The first team to grab the item is the winner. The team that lost will move one person to the left. The person on the furthest left spot will walk down the aisle to the other end of the line. If you want, encourage the students to do a little Six Pillar Shuffle down the aisle! This should give students a new partner. With their new partner, have students discuss: What makes a person trustworthy? Have the students get ready to pass along the high five again.
• Once the winning team is determined, have the team that lost move one to the left again. This will give the students a new partner. Have the new partners discuss a question and then repeat the game and questions until you have answered all of them: How do you respect your friends? Who is someone in your life you think is responsible? Why? Was there a time in your life when something was unfair? How did you handle that?How has someone show you they cared for you? Who is someone you admire that shows good citizenship?
• When the game is done, talk about the power of connection. When we do these games, we are connecting with one another and finding things we have in common or how we think similarly. When we find that connection with someone we are kinder, more respectful and work better together. It’s important to take the time to connect with each other and it doesn’t always take a game. Encourage students to take the time to connect to someone they don’t know well during lunch, recess, group projects or collaboration times in the classroom. 
• Have the students journal about ways they can make connections throughout the day. Connection is not something you can do just once and check it off the list. It must be done continually. Connection is also something that doesn’t always come naturally and sometimes needs to be intentionally planned. During this journaling time, you should encourage students to think about those two things and how they will work in connection into their day more frequently.

Family Connection 

Give a brief overview of the importance of connection. Encourage families to watch a video about the power of connecting with those who may look and think differently than you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQuM5e0QGLg

Give the families the following prompts to connect around character development:

• What makes a person trustworthy?
• How do you respect your friends?
• Who is someone in your life you think is responsible? Why?
• Was there a time in your life when something was unfair? How did you handle that?
• How has someone show you they cared for you?
• Who is someone you admire that shows good citizenship?

Learn more about character education.

Trustworthiness

K-2

• The Empty Pot by Demi
• The Honest-to-Goodness Truth by Patricia McKissack
• Liar, Liar Pants on Fire by Diane deGroat
• A Day’s Work by Eve Bunting

3-5

• Sun and Spoon by Kevin Henkes
• Shiloh by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
• Ricky Sticky Fingers by Julia Cook
• Winners Take All by Fred Bowen

Respect

K-2

• Molly’s Pilgrim by Barbara Cohen
• Through Grandpa’s Eyes by Patricia MacLachlan
• The Bicycle Man by Allen Say
• The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

3-5

• Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred Taylor
• Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary
• Number the Stars by Lois Lowry
• The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig

Responsibility

K-2

• Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
• Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes
• The Lorax by Dr. Seuss
• The Paperboy by Dav Pilkey

3-5

• Seedfolk by Paul Fleischman
• Rocky Road by Rose Kent
• Ms. Bixby’s Last Day by John David Anderson
• See You In the Cosmos by Jack Cheng

Fairness

K-2

• The Day the Crayons Quit by Drew Dawalt
• New Shoes by Susan Lynn Meyer
• One Grain of Rice by Demi
• Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister

3-5

• Breaking Through by Francisco Jimenez
• Elijah of Buxton by Christopher Curtis
• Baseball Saved Us by Kevin Mochizuki
• Separate Is Never Equal by Duncan Tonatiuh

Caring

K-2

• A Sick Day for Amos McGee by Philip CV.
• Stead I Walk with Vanessa by Kerascoët
• Kindness is Cooler, Mrs. Ruler by Margery Cuyler
• The Three Questions by Jon J. Muth

3-5

• The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate
• Stone Fox by John Reynolds Gardiner
• Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
• Wonder by R.J. Palacio

Citizenship

K-2

• Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Pena
• Lailah’s Lunchbox by Reem Faruqi
• Ordinary Mary’s Extraordinary Deed by Emily Pearson
• Is There Really a Human Race? by Jamie Lee Curtis

3-5

• Four Feet, Two Sandals by Karen Lynn Williams
• Henry’s Freedom Box by Ellen Levine
• When We Were Alone by David A. Robertson
• What’s the Big Deal About Freedom by Ruby Shamir

Learn more about character education.

Chop Wood, Carry Water: How to Fall in Love With the Process of Becoming Great by Joshua Medcalf
Medcalf, and his sometimes-writing partner Jamie Gilbert, have written several simple books about self-development, transformational leadership, goal achievement, and other topics. The books are short, the chapters shorter, and their arguments easy to process and learn. High school and many middle school students would be able to take something away from this book.

The Hard Hat and The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon
Jon Gordon is the author of many books that provide simple lessons in leadership or personal development. Each book is formatted as a parable. His stories are short, exceptionally simple, and the lessons clear and evident. High school and many middle school students could read and appreciate these books. The Hard Hat and The Energy Bus were the most highly recommended of his work.

The Happiness Advantage: How a Positive Brain Fuels Success in Work and Life by Shawn Achor
Most of us live by the formula, “if I work hard, I will be successful, and if I’m successful, theyn I will be happy.” In The Happiness Advantage, Achor argues that this formula backward; happiness fuels success, not the other way around. Achor writes that when we are positive our brains are more creative, engaged, and productive, which ultimately leads to success. He provides several strategies that can help train our brains to look for the positive in our lives and enjoy a happiness advantage. This is a very easy read and could be enjoyed by students and adults alike.

Smart and Good High Schools: Integrating Excellence and Ethics for Success in School, Work, and Beyond by Matt Davidson and Thomas Lickona
Based on a significant research initiative and report, Smart and Good High Schools not only reveals the data from the study, but illustrates the best practices used by schools to teach and practice character with high school students. This book is intended for educators, and would probably not be meaningful to most students. A free digital copy of the book can be found at: https://www2.cortland.edu/centers/character/high-schools/SnGReport.pdf

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck
One of the most widely read cited books of the last decade, Dweck’s Mindset argues that everyone has either a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. A fixed mindset is one in which you view your talents and abilities as unchanging. On the other hand, a growth mindset, is one in which you believe that you can grow and improve. The good news, is that mindsets can be changed. This book is a scholarly work, but approachable and readable. Select high school students may enjoy the book.

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth
According to Duckwork, grit is the demonstration of passion and perseverance towards a long-term goal, and her research argues that one’s grit is an important predictor of success, more so than talent, IQ, and other indicators. Duckworth is a professor and researcher, but her book, like Mindset, is not a difficult read. Select high school students may enjoy the book.

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink
In his book, Drive, Daniel Pink argues that much of what we believe about motivation is wrong. The carrot-and-stick approach used by many schools, businesses, and individuals is, Pink argues, is flawed for the 21st century. Instead, real motivation comes from:

*Autonomy—the desire to direct our own lives
*Mastery—the urge to get better and better at something that matters *Purpose—the yearning to do what we do in the service of something larger than ourselves

This book is primarily written for those in leadership in positions: teachers, coaches, managers, parents, etc. This may not be the best book for students.

InSideOut Coaching: How Sports Can Transform Lives by Joe Ehrmann
Joe Ehrmann’s book provides a persuasive argument for the power of transformational coaching. Ehrmann is a former football coach and NFL player, and thus his writing sometimes focuses on males (his work focuses on developing boys into men). However, the principles of transformational coaching can be applied to students of either gender. Like Drive, InSideOut Coaching is written for those in leadership positions and may not be as meaningful to students.

Learn more about character education.

Whether it is at the dinner table or in the car, you can use these questions to talk to your kids about character.

• Is there harm in a little lie? Here’s one way to decide. If upon learning of the lie, would the person lied to thank you for caring or feel betrayed or manipulated?

• Are there things that if everyone did it, would it be a bad thing? What if everyone used bad manners? What if no one treated others with respect.

• Does everything we do make a difference? What we say and what we do starts a chain reaction that affects the lives of others. Even choosing not to choose is a choice.

• Can you think of a time when you thought something wasn’t fair? Could a compromise have helped the situation?

• Can you take back hurtful words? Give an example of trying to put toothpaste back into the tube.

• How do you think our community or school could be better? What can you do to help?

Check out our Parent’s Guide to Teaching Good Character for more tips.

Learn more about character education.

Learn more about character education.

Character Education Objective: Help students understand the importance of connecting to other individuals.  Develop connection strategies and provide an opportunity for students to practice connecting with others.

Core Alignment:

• HS – Essential Concept and/or Skill: Communicate and work productively with others, incorporating different perspectives and cross cultural understanding, to increase innovation and the quality of work.
• HS – Essential Concept and/or Skill: Demonstrate leadership skills, integrity, ethical behavior, and social responsibility while collaborating to achieve common goals.
• MS – Essential Concept and/or Skill: Communicate and work productively with others, considering different perspectives, and cultural views to increase the quality of work.
• MS – Essential Concept and/or Skill: Demonstrate leadership, integrity, ethical behavior, and social responsibility in all environments.

Lesson:

We often tout how well-connected our society is.  Ever-improving technology allows us to contact almost anyone, almost anywhere, at almost any time via a wide-variety of methods – texting, phone calls, Snap Chat, Twitter, Facebook, Skype, and a host of other applications.

Though our methods of connection have multiplied, our ability to connect with one another at a human, person-to-person level may be diminishing.  In many ways, technology limits our interaction with our wider community by allowing us to filter who we see and what we hear.  Citizenship requires that we engage with our community by learning about the individuals who make up our society.  It requires that we work together to build a community that is inclusive of different people, different ideas, and different experiences.  To build that type of community, to be an engaged citizen, requires connection.

Ask students to watch the video below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSLJ3JDIDgY

After the video, ask students what they saw in the video.  What happened when people had to make eye contact for 1 minute?  (smiled, hugged, cried, etc.)

Ask student why they think people had each of those reactions.

Optional Activity:  Ask students to do the experiment and look into someone’s eyes for 1 minute without speaking.  Ask students to analyze that experience.

 There is nothing inherently wrong with connecting to people using technology, but nothing will ever replace sharing a physical space, sharing eye contact, and engaging.

Moreover, effective citizenship requires that we not only know who makes up our community, but to understand what they think and why they think it.  To achieve this level of connection we must work to know people at a substantive level.  Most of our conversations happen at a surface level and that is ok.  Surface level questions (like what did you do this weekend? Did you see this movie?) are efficient, safe, ice breakers.  But if we really want to understand others we must engage each at a more substantive level.

The link below will take you to a list of 36 questions developed by psychologists that are proven to increase closeness between two individuals.  Give students the list of questions and instruct them to take turns asking and answering each question.  You may want to assign partners so that students are connecting with an individual they do not know well.  You may also choose to edit the list of questions for time or content as needed.

https://psychcentral.com/blog/want-to-be-close-to-someone-ask-these-36-questions/

Optional Activity:  Instruct students to complete a reflection after their interview.  Did they find any connection points to the person they interviewed?  What did you learn about this person that they didn’t know before?  What are the benefits of knowing this person better – for you and for them?  Etc.

 Parent Connection:

Send parents the link to the 36 questions and encourage them to complete the same activity with their child.

Learn more about character education.

Character Education Objective: Help students understand the importance of intentionally seeking out opportunities for community service and how those acts will impact the community.

Core Alignment:

K-2

• Essential Concept and/or Skill: Communicate and work appropriately with others to complete tasks.
• Essential Concept and/or Skill: Learn leadership skills and demonstrate integrity, ethical behavior, and social responsibility.
• Determine a procedure for how people can effectively work together to make decisions to improve their classrooms or communities.
• Determine effective strategies for solving particular community problems

3-5

• Essential Concept and/or Skill: Communicate and work productively with others emphasizing collaboration and cultural awareness to produce quality work.
• Essential Concept and/or Skill: Practice leadership skills, and demonstrate integrity, ethical behavior, and social responsibility in all activities.

Lesson:

We all have a natural connection to our community, but we can strengthen that with acts of kindness to those around us. Often, those acts need to be intentional and we need to seek out the opportunity. When we do it has a ripple effect on our community and it will continue to spread as long as we all participate.

Ask students to watch the video below.

Life Vest Inside- Kindness Boomerang:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwAYpLVyeFU

After the video, ask students what they saw in this video. What happened when each character went out of her way to help the next? Would that character have helped the next if she had not been helped before? Ask them what they think caused each person to help the next?

Can our class cause a chain reaction like this? How could we start?

Brainstorm ideas as a classroom about either a service project or intentional acts of kindness you could do this month. Write all possible ideas down and encourage all children to add any idea that comes to mind. In brainstorming, it is important to allow all ideas to make it to the list and then you can refine ideas in a later step. Once the brainstorm list is created, talk about any obstacles that may limit this project. There may be a budget, no money at all or time may be a consideration. Set any perimeters and allow the students to problem solve to either overcome the obstacle or decide to remove it from the list. Refine the list to possible projects or acts and allow the class to vote. Perform your service project or acts of kindness and share with The Ray Center on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/TheRayCenter/ or on Twitter @TheRayCenter.

Optional Activity

Literacy gives us so many characters who seek out opportunities and make intentional choices to positively impact community. Characters are great at reinforcing concepts and we have picked out a few that are quick and easy reads. These stories can supplement transition or wait activities. Choose a story below and discuss how each character made a choice and how that choice impacted her community.

• Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Peña
• Ordinary Mary’s Extraordinary Deed byEmily Pearson
• What If Everybody Did That?byEllen Javernick
• If Everybody Did byJo Ann Stover
• Is There Really a Human Race? byJamie Lee Curtis
• Fill A Bucket: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Young Children byCarol McCloud
• A Sick Day for Amos McGee byPhilip C. Stead
• Stone Soup byMarcia Brown

Ask some of the following questions:

• What would you do if you were that character?
• How do you think the other character felt?
• How did that action impact the next one?
• How does that help build the community?

 Parent Connection:

Share with families about your service project or acts of kindness. Ask families to think about creating a service project or acts of kindness plan together. It can be big or small, but every act matters and reinforces the concepts of the lesson plan you completed. Encourage them to visit the following website that is full of ideas including plans and instructions:

https://www.doinggoodtogether.org/bhf/pick-a-project/

Ask families who participate to share family projects with The Ray Center on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/TheRayCenter/ or on Twitter @TheRayCenter.

Learn more about character education.

Of course we want our children to become good, responsible, respectful and successful human beings! But in our quest to “do it all” we may forget that some of the most powerful ways to help our children aren’t in the things we buy,  but in the simple things we say.

Example is everything. In fact, the Greek philosopher, Aristotle, years ago said that the best way to teach character is by modeling good example. (I swear kids come with video recorders planted inside their heads and we know it when they play us back at the most inopportune moments–usually when the relatives arrive).

The bottom line is the kids are watching us and they are copying–the good, the bad, and the very ugly things we say and do. Just in case you need any proof here are a few things our children pick up from watching us:

Behavior. Prejudice. Stress management. How we cope with defeat. Organizational style. Driving safety. Drinking styles. Eating habits. Friendship making. Goal-setting. Values. Sleeping habits. Television viewing. Courtesy. Discourtesy. Punctuality. Religion. Love of reading. Lifestyle choices. Interests. Responsibility. Digital citizenship. If we bounce back. Self-talk. Pessimism. Optimism. Money Management. Procrastination. Frugality. Patriotism. Biases. Friendship keeping. Valuing education. Conflict resolution.

And the list goes on and on!

Here are just 50 things to say to boost our own example to our kids so we become the model we hope they copy. Our children desperately need role models. Let them look to us!

1. “Thank you! I really appreciate that!” (Courtesy)

2. “Excuse me, I need to walk away and get myself back in control.” (Stress and anger management)

3. “I’m going to call Grandma and see how she’s doing. She looked lonely.” (Empathy, compassion)

4. “Mrs. Jones is sad. I’m baking her some cookies. Want to help?” (Charity)

5. “I don’t want to watch this anymore. I don’t like how they are portraying…(women, men, kids, a race, a culture, a religion…). (Values and stereotyping)

6. “Excuse me. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” (Admitting mistakes. Manners)

7. “That’s my two cents. I’d love to hear yours.” (Communication style)

8. “I lost my temper there. I’m going to work on counting to 10 when I get so stressed.” (Anger management)

9. “I blew it. Next time I’ll….” (Handling mistakes)

10. “I’m going to set a goal for myself this year. I’m working on….” (Goal-setting)

11. “I’m so upset with my friend-remind me not to send her an email until I cool off.” (Online behavior)

12. “Please repeat that. I don’t understand.” (Conflict and communication style).

13. “I’m so stressed lately…I’m going to (start walking, eat healthier, write in a journal, listen to soothing music, or whatever) to help me relax.” (Stress management, coping)

14. “I want to listen. Let me turn off my cell phone.” (Digital citizenship)

15. “I have so many things to do today. I’m going to make a list so I don’t forget anything.” (Organization)

16. “That woman looks like she’s going to drop those packages. Let’s ask if she needs help.” (Kindness)

17. “Apologies…that was my fault. Hope you forgive me.” (Forgiveness)

18. “I’m driving and need to keep my eyes on the road. Please turn off my phone for me.” (Driving safety)

19. “I love watching the Oscars, but let’s not focus on their dress designers but their talent. How do you think Sandra Bullock prepared for her role in space.” (Valuing quality over materialism)

20. “She’s my friend and doesn’t want me to tell anyone. I’m honoring her request.” (Friendship. Loyalty)

21. “I’m getting upset and need to take a time out. Let’s talk in a few minutes.” (Anger management)

22. “Great question-I don’t that answer. But I’ll try to find it for you.” (Admitting shortcomings)

23. “They do look different than us, but they have the same feelings. Let’s think about how we’re the same.” (Prejudice)

24. “Didn’t she just move here? Let’s go introduce ourselves and ask her to sit with us.” (Courtesy. Kindness)

25. “If it’s not respectful I’m not sending it.” (Digital citizenship)

26. “But is that true for all elderly people? Aunt Harriet remembers everything and she’s 87. Let’s think of more examples.” (Stopping prejudice and bias)

27. “Every month I’m going to set a new goal. You’re going to help remind me to stick to it!” (Goal-setting)

28. “We hear so much about the “bad” stuff–let’s look through the paper and find the good things people are doing for each other. We could start ‘Good News’ reports.” (Optimism, attitude)

29. “I need to take care of myself and eat healthier.” (Self-care)

30. “I’m going to walk around the block. Want to come? It always helps me relax.” (Self-care)

31. “I taped ‘No’ on a card on the phone to remind me to not to take on so much. I’m prioritizing my family!” (Priorities)

32. “I’ve got to catch my words-I’m becoming too negative.” (Attitude. Optimism)

33. “Let’s set ‘unplugged times’ for our family. What about from 6 to 8 pm?” (Prioritizing family).

34. “I do like it, but I’m going to wait until it’s on sale.” (Frugality, delaying gratification).

35. “I always try to save half of my paycheck.” (Money management)

36. “Those children lost everything in that fire. Let’s go through our closets and find gently used clothes and toys to bring them.” (charity)

37. “I’d love to eat that now, but I’m going to wait until after dinner.” (Self-control)

38. “I know it sounds fun, but I need to finish my job. My motto is, “Work first, then play.” (Responsibility)

39. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m driving so I can’t drink.” (Drinking behavior)

40. “My favorite thing to do is read! Let’s go to the library sale and find books to bring on our vacation.” (Instilling a love of reading).

41. “Let’s stay open-minded and give Daniel a turn. We didn’t hear his side.” (Non-judgmental)

42. “That’s not fair. We agreed on the rules so let stick to them.” (Fairness).

43. “I know we wanted to win, but we didn’t. They were better than us, so let’s go congratulate them.” (Sportsmanship)

44. “I need to go write a thank you to Peter before I forget. He put a lot of thought into that present and I want to make sure he knows how much I appreciate it.” (Gratitude)

45. “Thanks, but you don’t need to give me any money. I did it because I wanted to help.” (Charitableness)

46. “I’m going to stop talking about dress sizes and jumping on the scale, and start thinking about eating healthier instead.” (Self-image)

47. “I’ve got to get to the polls before they close. Voting is something I take very seriously.” (Citizenship)

48. “Let’s stop and think about how she feels. She looks sad-let’s get in her shoes for a minute.” (Empathy)

49. “I’m not just going to stand by when someone could get hurt. I’m asking if he wants help.” (Responsibility. No by standing!”)

50. “Everyone can make a difference. Let’s think of something we can do.” (Personal responsibility. Empowerment)

What can you say to a child today to be the example he or she can use for tomorrow?

Beware, the children are copying!

Michele Borba, Ed.D. is an internationally renowned consultant, educational psychologist and recipient of the National Educator Award who has presented workshops to over a million participants worldwide. She is a recognized expert in parenting, bullying, youth violence, and character development and author of 22 books including UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About Me World, The 6Rs of Bullying Prevention: Best Proven Practices to Combat Cruelty and Build Respect,The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, and Building Moral Intelligence. She has appeared over 130 times on the TODAY show and is a frequent expert on national media including Dateline, The View, Dr. Oz, Anderson Cooper, CNN, Dr. Drew, and Dr. Phil. To book her for speaking or media even refer to her website: www.micheleborba.com. Follow her on twitter @MicheleBorba.

Learn more about character education.

Learn more about character education.