From our guest contributor, Michael Josephson. 

Let’s face it, it’s not easy to become a person of character. It takes a good heart, but it also requires wisdom to know right from wrong and the discipline to do right even when it’s costly, inconvenient or difficult.

Becoming a person of character is a lifelong quest to be better.

A person of character values honesty and integrity and pays whatever price is needed to be worthy of trust, earning the pride of family and friends and self-respect.

A person of character plays fair even when others don’t and values no achievement unless it was attained with honor.

A person of character has strong convictions, yet avoids self-righteousness.

A person of character believes in the inherent dignity of all people and treats everyone with respect, even those whose ideas and ideologies evoke strong disagreement.

A person of character deals with criticism constructively and is self-confident enough to take good advice, admit and learn from mistakes, feel and express genuine remorse and apologize graciously.

A person of character knows what’s important, sacrifices the now for later, is in control of attitudes and actions, overcomes negative impulses and makes the best of every situation.

A person of character willingly faces fears and tackles unpleasant tasks.

A person of character is consistently and self-consciously kind and empathetic, giving generously without concern for reward.

A person of character feels and expresses gratitude freely and frequently.

A person of character is not defeated by failure or dissuaded by disappointment.

A person of character seeks true happiness in living a life of purpose and meaning, placing a higher value on significance than success.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Michael Josephson is an influential and internationally renowned champion of character education for youth and ethical conduct in business, government, policing, journalism, sports, healthcare and law. He is credited by many as the person most responsible for reviving and professionalizing the character education in school and youth-serving organizations. In 1992, under the auspices of the Josephson Institute he created CHARACTER COUNTS!, the world’s most widely implemented character development initiative based on a common language of shared values – the Six Pillars of Character) and Pursuing Victory With Honor (1996), a companion program promoting ethics in sports.

Learn more about character education.

From our guest contributor, Frank Sonnenberg. 

Imagine having this conversation about white lies with your conscience:

“Are you really going to tell a white lie, break a promise, or stretch the truth?”

“Oh come on,” you think. “You’re not going to judge me, are you? It’s ‘just this one time.’ White lies never hurt anyone. Everyone does it. Besides, I never said I was a saint.”

Sound familiar?

The truth about white lies

I’m sure everyone has a “good” excuse for telling a white lie. “It’s for my family.” “I want to protect her feelings.” “It’s for the good of the organization.” But here’s the rub…

The first time you tell a lie, break a promise, or stretch the truth, you’ll probably give it some thought –– weighing the advantages and disadvantages of lowering your personal standards. You’ll undoubtedly be a little nervous because your conscience told you not to do it, but you decided to go that route anyway. And, if you get away with it, you may even think you won, but did you?

The next time you’re faced with a similar situation, you’ll probably give it less thought than the first time, and you may even accept a little more risk. Before you know it, you’ll undoubtedly think you can get away with telling lies every time. Why not? The score is already two for you and zero for your conscience. You may become so accustomed to fibbing that you don’t even question how much you’ve lowered the bar for yourself.

They matter 

You can try to convince me that you’re right, if that makes you feel better, but I choose to live my life the right way. Folks like me know that when we make a promise, our word is as binding as a contract. And we know that there’s no reason for someone to challenge our word or second-guess our motives –– because we live our life with honor and integrity. That enables us to build trust, strengthen credibility and respect, and earn a solid reputation. What’s that worth? Everything!

Some people may argue that the world isn’t black and white. They know how close they can go “to the edge” so there’s no danger of this downward spiral. Well, that’s a decision between them and their conscience.

As for others, they can explain their actions away by saying that “everyone does it” or they’re doing it for the “right reason.” But I question whether they’re trying to persuade others or to convince themselves.

So the next time you find yourself saying “just this one time,” remember what you’re trading off in the process. Forget about what you may lose from your friends and colleagues, and start thinking about whether you’ll be able to face yourself in the mirror every day. Is it worth it? You’ll have to answer that for yourself. My only advice is to listen to your conscience. That’s why you have one.

This is adapted from BOOKSMART: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness by Frank Sonnenberg released November 2016.

Frank is an award-winning author. He has written six books and over 300 articles. Frank was recently named one of “America’s Top 100 Thought Leaders” and one of America’s Most Influential Small Business Experts. Frank has served on several boards and has consulted to some of the largest and most respected companies in the world. Additionally,  FrankSonnenbergOnline was named among the “Best 21st Century Leadership Blogs,” among the “Top 100 Socially-Shared Leadership Blogs,” and one of the “Best Inspirational Blogs On the Planet.” Frank’s new book, BookSmart: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness was released November 2016. © 2018 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.

From our guest contributor, Frank Sonnenberg.

All too often, people who shoot from the hip, and succeed, are greeted with admiration. Their success is viewed as a magical ability to ignore hard work, hope for the best, and still come out on top. To them, winging it is a way of life.

Winging it is a form of shooting craps. You gamble that, prepared or not, you’ll be able to handle whatever comes up in life — sevens or snake eyes. But even veteran gamblers recognize that the odds are stacked against them. Taking a calculated risk is not the same as gambling. One is taking a risk after considered judgment; the other is leaving everything to the roll of the dice.

Originally, the term “winging it” was used to describe actors who relied on prompters in the wings because they never took the time to learn their lines. Winging it, or bluffing, certainly didn’t enhance the reputation of the actor who was performing without adequate preparation. And it won’t help you.

“Winging it is nothing more than a gamble.”
– Frank Sonnenberg

You may have confidence in your ability to make off-the-cuff decisions; indeed, winging it may even be a habit, one you have little desire to break because it hasn’t created a major problem for you — yet.

The fact is, it’s impossible to substitute winging it for planning, preparation, and practice. When people wing it, they hope everything will work out, but they don’t know that it will. As a result of laziness or a tendency to operate on automatic pilot, they forget that making things work takes work. As Jascha Heifetz, the renowned violinist, said, “If I don’t practice one day, I know it; two days, the critics know it; three days, the public knows it.”

Practicing the basics, being prepared, and following up on details is a small price to pay for success. Crisis management — putting out fires all day long — is more expensive and it’s exhausting. Winging it wastes valuable time and energy, leads to a loss of credibility, and can damage even the most promising career.

Of course, there will always be unpleasant surprises to deal with because the world isn’t perfect. But you can reduce the number of crises that plague you (and the stress they cause) by maintaining discipline in areas that are controllable.

How do you stop this runaway freight train and gain control of your life? The answer is as simple as an old Chinese proverb: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Since winging it has much in common with gambling, the first step is to follow the precept that Gamblers Anonymous requires of new members: Admit that you’re a gambler. Once you see yourself as a gambler (rather than an astute, risk-taking person), you’ve taken that first important step. When you’ve convinced yourself that you must break out of your winging-it, shoot-from-the-hip, flip-a-coin mentality, you’ll have a new lease on life. Once you incorporate some planning and preparation into your life, I’m sure you’ll find that the investment leads to better, more reliable outcomes. Is it worth the effort? You bet!

For more resources about how to be successful through responsible planning, click here!

This is adapted from BOOKSMART: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness by Frank Sonnenberg released November 2016.

Frank is an award-winning author. He has written six books and over 300 articles. Frank was recently named one of “America’s Top 100 Thought Leaders” and one of America’s Most Influential Small Business Experts. Frank has served on several boards and has consulted to some of the largest and most respected companies in the world. Additionally,  FrankSonnenbergOnline was named among the “Best 21st Century Leadership Blogs,” among the “Top 100 Socially-Shared Leadership Blogs,” and one of the “Best Inspirational Blogs On the Planet.” Frank’s new book, BookSmart: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness was released November 2016. © 2018 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.

From our guest contributor, Michael Josephson. 

Charlie, a road crew supervisor for highway landscapers, came upon a pair of workers from one of his crews seemingly hard at work. He watched one fellow dig a hole while his partner waited a few minutes and then filled the hole. After a few repetitions Charlie demanded an explanation. The hole-filler was offended: “We’ve been doing this job for 10 years. What’s your problem?”

Charlie sputtered: “You’ve been digging and filling empty holes for 10 years? That makes no sense.”

“Not exactly,” the worker replied. “Until a few months ago, there was another guy who would put a bush in the hole. He retired and when management failed to replace him we figured they wanted us carry on as best we could.”

Obviously, these fellows didn’t think much of their management and the fact that they were digging and filling holes without planting bushes for months seems to justify their cynicism. Still, the incompetence of a manager doesn’t justify the indifference of employees.

There is a moral dimension to work, an obligation to be both engaged and accountable.

Being engaged means being involved, pursuing excellence and taking personal pride in your work..

Being accountable means accepting personal responsibility to make things better. Outdated or foolish procedures are common in lots of organizations, but they shouldn’t be perpetuated by a mindless “I’m just doing my job” mentality.

Remember, if you don’t take pride in what you do, you can’t take pride in what you are.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Michael Josephson is an influential and internationally renowned champion of character education for youth and ethical conduct in business, government, policing, journalism, sports, healthcare and law. He is credited by many as the person most responsible for reviving and professionalizing the character education in school and youth-serving organizations. In 1992, under the auspices of the Josephson Institute he created CHARACTER COUNTS!, the world’s most widely implemented character development initiative based on a common language of shared values – the Six Pillars of Character) and Pursuing Victory With Honor (1996), a companion program promoting ethics in sports.

Learn more about character education.

From our guest contributor, Frank Sonnenberg. 

In today’s wonderful world of time-saving technologies, you’d think we’d be beneficiaries of an improved quality of life. More time for friends and family, more time to pursue personal interests, and more time to follow our dreams. Wrong! (So much for living in the fast lane.)

Despite these continuing advances, time saved has become time filled. Bombarded with added responsibilities, working families are faced with greater demands and obligations, increased stress levels, and tough choices to make between personal and professional commitments. In many cases, instead of living life to the fullest, we’re living life on the edge — cramming as much as we can into a day, scrambling to get ahead, and running rampant on what sometimes seems to be a never-ending pursuit of the almighty buck.

This is life now that hyper-speed Internet communication has connected us to the demands of a hyper-speed world. One where tomorrow is not good enough for answers needed today. One where the pace of life that we once knew has changed forevermore, slamming us into high gear — full rev…with no time for idling. And often, no time for breathing.

Too often, our “must-do” lists do not include doing something for ourselves. Like hamsters, we live on a non-stop treadmill running pointlessly to nowhere, as moments pass us by. The scene of the “Norman Rockwell family” gathered together around the table has, in many instances, been replaced with that of working parents struggling to make ends meet. And children are being raised by others while we embrace a frantic daily work ritual. In short, we are becoming “absentee parents,” losing opportunities to spend quality time with our children.

This is life.

Or, perhaps better stated…this is life?

Sadly, we are losing the priceless things that we once treasured. An extra hour or two to putter around the house, the joy of watching a child’s first steps, or taking time to make our favorite chocolate chip cookies from scratch using grandma’s recipe. And — home-cooked meals? Who has the time?

Today, those home-cooked meals we once enjoyed have been replaced by take-out dinners or a quick stop at the drive-through window. Family meals around the table have been reduced to grabbing a bite with anyone who happens to be home at the time, rather than “being a family” at least once during the day. Family conversations are fast disappearing, and what once was quality family time has now evolved to a drone-like fixation on a mega-sized TV screen, fighting for possession of the remote.

Even those special occasions we once anticipated and celebrated have been reduced in significance. For example, many holidays have become over-commercialized, and we find ourselves looking at them as “days off,” rather than pausing to reflect on their true meaning and sharing them as a family, as a community, and as a united nation. And the care and time once spent thinking about buying, or making, just the right gift has, in many cases, been replaced with gift certificates — that is, if we can remember the occasion in the first place. These pleasures are often lost in the blur of living life in the fast lane, gone because we fail to hit the pause button and put our lives back into perspective. In many cases, we’re becoming worker ants with tunnel vision.

The sobering fact is that there will come a point in time when we sit back, or more likely collapse in exhaustion, wondering what we’ve gained from this frenetic race called life. And in those moments of retrospection, will we really regret that missed promotion, the rejected proposal, or not being able to buy the bigger house? Or will we ponder our failed relationships — the feelings left unshared with someone we love, or the precious time lost with our children? Sadder yet, will we find ourselves living in a society where future generations accept these values as the norm?

Attention, Fellow Homo sapiens!

This is your wake-up call before it’s too late — the early warning signal to get a perspective on the things that matter.

Make time for yourself — if only just a few minutes — to reflect and regain some perspective — where you can redirect, realign, and realize a better, more rewarding life.

As authors, we find that we, too, are very much a part of this hyper-speed lifestyle that we’re all living. We’re no better than the next hardworking parent or individual trying to keep it all together. But, in our quieter moments, we do realize that there is a need to slow down…to put on the brakes and consider those values that are most important in life.

So take a moment to replenish your energies, re-establish your priorities, and re-introduce yourself to those things you once held close to your heart. There’s more to life than increasing its speed.

For more information on being conscientious and mindful, click here.

This is adapted from BOOKSMART: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness by Frank Sonnenberg released November 2016.

Frank is an award-winning author. He has written six books and over 300 articles. Frank was recently named one of “America’s Top 100 Thought Leaders” and one of America’s Most Influential Small Business Experts. Frank has served on several boards and has consulted to some of the largest and most respected companies in the world. Additionally,  FrankSonnenbergOnline was named among the “Best 21st Century Leadership Blogs,” among the “Top 100 Socially-Shared Leadership Blogs,” and one of the “Best Inspirational Blogs On the Planet.” Frank’s new book, BookSmart: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness was released November 2016. © 2018 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.

Learn more about character education.

Whether you’re a recent college graduate or an employee looking for the Holy Grail, here are some ways to simplify your job search:

Get your mind in shape. Just as you’d want to be in peak physical shape before a big game, it’s important to be in a good frame of mind before a job search. Consider beginning an exercise routine, reading a self-help book, finding a hobby that you enjoy, getting plenty of sleep, and meditating to make yourself feel better and to reduce stress. A positive attitude is key.

Ignore the law of averages. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, employed people work an average of 7.5 hours per day and get 8.67 hours of sleep. If these figures don’t exactly apply to you, what makes you think that national unemployment averages do? So next time you hear that it’s tough to find a job, remember, the unemployment rate is only a broad indicator of the job market. Even in a lousy job market, people get job offers every day. It may as well be you.

Don’t fool yourself. Some people think, “My phone will start ringing when I begin my job search.” Yeah, sure. When was the last time someone called you with a job opportunity? Dreams, unlike eggs, don’t hatch from sitting on them.

Cash isn’t the only currency. Some people forgo opportunities if they don’t provide big bucks. The fact is, every experience that you gain is an investment in your future. If you leave your job, you’ll take that experience with you and cash it in for a bigger prize.

If the shoe fits. Put yourself in the employer’s shoes. Would you rather hire someone referred by a person you trust or meet someone unknown? So, network, network, network.

Are you playing bumper cars? Unfortunately, some people treat networking like a game of bumper cars in which progress is measured by the number of people they run into rather than the quality of the underlying relationships. Simply put, just handing out more business cards and adding more friends to Facebook or LinkedIn isn’t networking. Don’t wait until you desperately need a social network to begin developing one. Networks are built on trust, respect, and personal chemistry — that doesn’t happen overnight.

Roll with the punches. Don’t be bullheaded. If Plan “A” doesn’t go exactly as expected, be prepared to roll with the punches. You may have to modify your expectations. Your new job may require a longer commute, lower salary, or accepting a different type of job than the one you had your sights on. This is your Plan “B.” It doesn’t mean you should settle for the first opportunity that comes along or, worse, sell your soul. It does mean you may have to compromise. Remember, broadening your search doesn’t mean you have to accept any job that is offered, but you should give serious consideration to any offer you receive. Maybe Plan “B” will work out better after all.

Are you swimming against the tide? Rip currents are powerful channel currents of water flowing away from the shore. Many people swept out to sea try to fight their way back by swimming against the current. That’s how people drown, from exhaustion. The fact is, people who remain calm and swim parallel to the shore swim out of the current and to safety. The same is true with a job search. Remember to go with the flow.

How do you measure success? Some people beat themselves up if they don’t get a job in a week. Like the legendary football coach Vince Lombardi, I believe you don’t have to worry about winning games if you focus on fundamentals such as blocking and tackling. So don’t concentrate on getting the job; instead, focus on the quality activity that you generate. Every good interview or meeting with a member of your network brings you one step closer to your goal.

It takes two to tango. Some applicants feel that potential employers hold all the cards during the hiring process. The fact is, organizations need great talent as much as you want a great employer. Be selective. It’ll be a win-win proposition.

If you believe you can’t, you won’t. A job search doesn’t have to be a terrible experience. It’s the beginning of an exciting new opportunity. Have fun. Reconnect with members of your network. And remember your experience so that you can lend a helpful hand to someone in need once you’ve landed your great new job.

I would say good luck, but you won’t need it. You’ll be making your own.

This is an excerpt from BOOKSMART: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness by Frank Sonnenberg released November 2016.

Frank is an award-winning author. He has written six books and over 300 articles. Frank was recently named one of “America’s Top 100 Thought Leaders” and one of America’s Most Influential Small Business Experts. Frank has served on several boards and has consulted to some of the largest and most respected companies in the world. Additionally,  FrankSonnenbergOnline was named among the “Best 21st Century Leadership Blogs,” among the “Top 100 Socially-Shared Leadership Blogs,” and one of the “Best Inspirational Blogs On the Planet.” Frank’s new book, BookSmart: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness was released November 2016. © 2018 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.

From our guest contributor, Frank Sonnenberg. 

Be selective.

An employer can tell if you’re serious about a job interview or going through the motions. The key is to be selective enough that you’re willing to make the investment. If you’re not excited about the opportunity, odds are they won’t be excited about you.

Do your homework.

An interview starts long before the actual meeting takes place. Do you know anyone who works for the employer — even if they work in a different area than the one you’re applying to? What can they tell you about the company? Can they provide you with an introduction or say something on your behalf? Who will be conducting the interview? What’s his or her background?

What do you know about the company? Did you visit their website and read the annual report? Do they discuss key initiatives, company values, and their culture? Has the company been in the news lately? What do analysts say about their strengths and weaknesses? What does their recruiting information say about the people who work there?

Put yourself in their shoes.

If you were conducting the interview, what qualities and skills would you be looking for? What things might disqualify a candidate?

Practice, practice, practice.

What makes you a good fit for the organization? What will excite the interviewer or pose potential problems for you? Try to anticipate questions and prepare responses. Run your answers past a friend. The key is to think through your answers before the interview.

Some of the most common questions may include: Why do you want to work for this company? Why should we hire you? What do you like most and least about your current job? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Remember, real-life stories and hard facts will bring your responses to life.

You’ll also be asked if you have any questions of the employer. Some questions worth consideration include: What are you looking for in an ideal candidate? What are the opportunities for growth?

You’re always onstage.

Some people believe that an applicant is evaluated based solely on the interview. The truth is, you will be judged on everything that takes place before, during, and after the interview. How will that Facebook post go over when the potential employer catches a glimpse? Employers will also note whether your résumé was sent with a customized cover letter; whether you were responsive in answering phone calls and e-mails; whether you were courteous to the person confirming the interview; and whether you followed up in a timely manner.

Be focused.

What key points do you want to make during your interview? Are you sure they address key factors in the employer’s selection criteria?

Differentiate yourself.

What qualifications or experiences make you uniquely qualified for the position? What can you do or say that’ll differentiate you from other applicants?

Be yourself.

Enjoy yourself during the interview. If you’re comfortable, you’ll make the interviewer feel at ease. Think through your answers before the interview takes place. But remember, if you try to fake your way through the interview, believe me, it will show!

Remain confident.

Confidence comes with practice. Did you research the company? Did you identify questions and prepare responses? Did you select key points that you want to drive home? Most of all, remember: If you don’t know why you’d hire you, neither will they.

Stand out.

What can you do to stand out from the crowd? Do you have any personal interests that’ll make you memorable?

No-no’s.

There are several things that will knock you out of the running. Here are a few: Spell-check all correspondence. Then READ through everything again to catch those “misused” words that spell-check overlooked. Make sure that you dress properly and are appropriately groomed. When in doubt, it’s better to be overdressed than too casual. Show up for the interview 5 or 10 minutes early. Make sure you can answer basic questions, such as why you want the job or why you chose their company. If there are time gaps or other issues in your résumé be prepared to address them. Don’t use foul language or bad-mouth your previous employer. Don’t bring up controversial subjects such as politics or religion, and don’t disclose confidential information about your company. Last, don’t try to do an end run around someone during the application process. (Ouch.)

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

Some people fall in love with one job opportunity and stop all other activity. The truth is, even if the opportunity looks like a shoo-in, it could dry up for no apparent reason.

Look in the mirror.

After every interview, ask yourself what you’d do differently if you had the opportunity to go through the interview again.

May the “luck” be with you.

Sometimes you can do everything perfectly, but the job is offered to someone else. When this happens, don’t spend time beating yourself up. Move forward. The interview process takes determination, persistence, and a touch of luck. If you follow these tips, you’ll be one step ahead of the others, so luck won’t be required. But good luck anyway!

This is an excerpt from BOOKSMART: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness by Frank Sonnenberg released November 2016.

Frank is an award-winning author. He has written six books and over 300 articles. Frank was recently named one of “America’s Top 100 Thought Leaders” and one of America’s Most Influential Small Business Experts. Frank has served on several boards and has consulted to some of the largest and most respected companies in the world. Additionally,  FrankSonnenbergOnline was named among the “Best 21st Century Leadership Blogs,” among the “Top 100 Socially-Shared Leadership Blogs,” and one of the “Best Inspirational Blogs On the Planet.” Frank’s new book, BookSmart: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness was released November 2016. © 2017 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.

We can all play a part in improving respect and civility in our community. To help achieve this goal, our expectations are that we will:

• Listen attentively
  Stay in the moment.  Pay attention to what is being said instead of thinking ahead to what you want to say in response.
• Respect the opinions of others
  You don’t have to agree.  Respect that others have their own experiences that shape their opinions.
• Keep an open mind
  Take time to weigh all sides of an issue.
• Give constructive comments, suggestions & feedback
  Before you speak, ask yourself if what you have to say is helpful, civil, and necessary.
• Avoid personal attacks
  Getting personal doesn’t advance the conversation, and doesn’t build a positive rebut.
• Remember the things we have in common
  Start with what you agree on.  You may have less disagreement than you thought.
• Value people, the process, and the results
  If others are willing to discuss difficult issues, show appreciation for their participation and the results.

For you to consider:

What other meetings could you use these expectations? Are people in leadership positions being good role models of respectful behavior? Are there any additional expectations that would be beneficial for your group to add?

Learn more about character education.

From our guest contributor, Michael Josephson. 

Confession: When I was younger, practicing gratitude as a way to find inner peace, contentment, and lasting happiness seemed ridiculous to me. It was too simplistic, too cliche. I wanted to dismiss it, but I couldn’t. I needed help. So I decided to follow the research and see where it led me; for a few months, I would practice gratitude intentionally and regularly.

My first step was to write down three good things about my day. I did it every day, even on days when this was a struggle. In one study participants who were asked to do this for 21 days reported feeling more optimistic, less anxious, and even slept better — immediately after and three and six months after the study. Another study showed that participants who kept a gratitude journal for 10 weeks reported having fewer health problems and spent more time exercising.

My second step was making a rule to say thank you at least once a day. I wasn’t a rude person, just always in a hurry, and now I would make a point of actually pausing to say thanks. Expressing gratitude to others has been shown to do everything from improving romantic relationships to increasing happiness and depressive symptoms. One of the most powerful ways to do this is by writing a gratitude letter to someone, but I found a simple text message to a friend has similar benefits if you mean it.

New research has shown that positive interactions with strangers leads to feeling more cheerful and increasing your sense of belonging. So saying thank you to a barista who makes your coffee can lead to feeling happier just like saying thank you to friend does.

My third gratitude habit was to pause and savor something once a day. It sounds silly to have to learn to do this, but I realized the stress of my early life had made pausing and savoring moments seem like another luxury I couldn’t afford. Ever since I could remember, I’d rushed through every experience in my life instead of being there. But I made a deal with myself to try to be more present, so I tried. I stopped eating while standing up. I would literally stop to smell the flowers I’d bought for our kitchen. In one study students were instructed to savor two pleasurable experiences per day and reflect on each for a few minutes. They showed significant increases in happiness and reduction in negative feelings.

There are three steps to savoring: Anticipate the experience, be present during it — no checking email while drinking your coffee — and then reflect on it for a few minute to extend its positive effect. Anticipation is key; studies have shown that planning a vacation makes you feel happier than actually taking it.

Here’s the punch line: Despite my extreme skepticism, practicing gratitude changed my life.

It didn’t turn me into some happy-go-lucky person I was never meant to be (or, frankly, wanted to be). But I developed a fundamentally different way of thinking and moving through life, one in which I stopped taking for granted all the tiny good moments that were already part of it. I stopped looking for happiness out there and learned to find it right here. I felt more connected to friends, family, and my colleagues, and even on the toughest days, I managed my stress better (which research shows is a long-lasting effect of practicing gratitude).

My advice? Give gratitude a shot.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Michael Josephson is an influential and internationally renowned champion of character education for youth and ethical conduct in business, government, policing, journalism, sports, healthcare and law. He is credited by many as the person most responsible for reviving and professionalizing the character education in school and youth-serving organizations. In 1992, under the auspices of the Josephson Institute he created CHARACTER COUNTS!, the world’s most widely implemented character development initiative based on a common language of shared values – the Six Pillars of Character) and Pursuing Victory With Honor (1996), a companion program promoting ethics in sports.

Learn more about character education.

From our guest contributor, Frank Sonnenberg.

Some people believe that you have to be ruthless in order to achieve success. I’m here to tell you that they’re dead wrong. Here are common fallacies about winning and why greed is a dead-end strategy.

• Promote yourself to make a great impression. Self-promotion won’t always lead to a favorable impression. In fact, the opposite may be true. If you want to make a great impression, spend your time listening and making others feel special rather than telling them how great you are.
• You have to move fast to get what you want in life. Relationships are built on trust, which takes time to develop. When people are viewed as “a bull in a china shop,” their motives are likely to be misinterpreted.
• If I don’t take it first, someone else will. When someone makes a concerted effort to be fair, others often return the favor. The opposite is also true — when someone thinks only of himself or herself, it breeds suspicion and contempt.
• Packaging yourself is everything. When you work smart and provide significant value, you don’t have to use gimmicks or play dirty to be recognized as a star. The best way to differentiate yourself or your organization is to be honest, caring, and hardworking.
• Always try to get the upper hand. Relationships are all about identifying areas of shared interest and creating opportunities for everyone to be a winner. When someone gains the upper hand at the expense of others, it creates envy and resentment.
• Don’t compromise if you don’t have to. Relationships are built on compromise. When you watch your partner’s back, your partner will watch yours. Compromise is key. If two people are five steps apart, the best way to meet in the middle is for each person to take three steps forward.
• In business, everyone’s a competitor. Some people believe that the best way to propel their career is to outmaneuver their colleagues. But when you make people look good, you’ll earn their trust and respect, and they’ll be supportive of your efforts. Plus, they’ll want you on their team.
• There’s not enough time to help others. When you make an effort to help others, you’ll create an army of people willing to return the favor for you one day. But remember, please don’t keep score.

For more information on achieving success through character, click here!

This is adapted from Frank’s new book Follow Your Conscience, By Frank Sonnenberg released November 2014

Frank is an award-winning author. He has written six books and over 300 articles. Frank was recently named one of “America’s Top 100 Thought Leaders” and one of America’s Most Influential Small Business Experts. Frank has served on several boards and has consulted to some of the largest and most respected companies in the world. Additionally, FrankSonnenbergOnline was named among the “Best 21st Century Leadership Blogs,” among the “Top 100 Socially-Shared Leadership Blogs,” and one of the “Best Inspirational Blogs On the Planet.” Frank’s new book, BookSmart: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness was released November 2016. © 2017 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.

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