Overview: Students need opportunities to see success and triumph in the midst of struggle. This lesson provides a video that discusses resilience from a young man who faced a lot of trials in his life. The discussion will provide an opportunity for the classroom to share ideas about trust, growth, and overcoming obstacles.
Character Education Objectives: Students will:
watch a video about why adversity can build resilience.
discuss resilience and trust through the lens of overcoming obstacles.
hare ideas for building resilience.
Materials
Markers
Post-it pads (large stick posters or paper)
Access to stream YouTube video
Lesson Plan Day 1
Journal: (5 mins)
What is something that has been challenging in your life to overcome?
Who have you trusted in your life to help you overcome challenges?
What does this quote mean to you? “The worst of life could not take out the best of me.”
Why do people still succeed and flourish despite pain and trauma?
What is resilience?
Why does change cause adversity?
How do your belief systems impact whether you succumb or surmount challenges?
How is your mind the most crucial resource to building resilience?
What does trauma teach us about resilience?
Tell your mind what to think- how do we do this?
Life is easier when you are prepared – how do you prepare for the unknown?
Perspective requires partnership
Why do we need others to help us overcome adversity?
Exit Ticket: (5 mins)
Who can you trust to help you overcome adversity when you need it?
Lesson Plan Day 2
Journal (5 mins)
What is important about learning to trust yourself in tough situations?
Whole Group Discussion (5 mins)
What did you learn about building trust and resilience yesterday?
Small Group Discussion (10 mins)
Everything happens for a reason- How can you use your trauma/struggle for a purpose?
Who can you trust to support you amid trauma or challenges?
What does it mean to trust resiliency to help you overcome adversity?
Productive Group Work (10 mins)
On poster paper: What are some ways you can build resilience?
Have students use a Post It Poster page to record ideas.
Gallery Walk: (10 mins)
What are some ways you can build resilience?
Put a star next to an idea you want to remember.
Put a tally mark next to an idea you have used in the past to help you overcome an obstacle.
Exit Ticket (5 mins)
What is the most important thing you learned in this lesson?
References Hunt, C. (2020). What Trauma Taught Me About Resilience | Charles Hunt | TEDxCharlotte. Retrieved 1 April 2020, from https://youtu.be/3qELiw_1Ddg
Resilience and Overcoming Obstacles (Grades 6-12)
Overview: Students need to embrace resilience as they care for one another during conflict. This lesson focuses on the caring Pillar while supplying a resource to problem-solve and build resilience.
Character education objectives:
Students will discuss problems and solutions
Students will brainstorm solutions to a problem
Students will use the Problem Solving Essentials tool and compose a caring response /solution for a problem
What is a problem you have had to solve at home or school?
What was challenging about solving it?
Whole Group Instruction: (10 mins)
You are going to compose an advice column to help people solve problems in their lives.
You will work in groups of 4-5 to problem solve solutions to real-life issues.
You will compose a caring response to help the sender tackle their problem.
I want you to utilize the Problem Solving Essentials tool.
For each problem scenario you will…
Define the problem and solution goals
Brainstorm all possible solutions
Write down everyone’s suggestions
Encourage everyone to participate and give ideas
No idea is a bad idea they can all lead to great ideas
Adapt, expand, innovate, and eliminate possibilities
Determine the best route with the list of ideas you came up with during the brainstorming
Test solution and revise as needed
Compose a response and edit / wordsmith until you feel it is ready to submit
Share with the classroom
Whole Group Model with the classroom the following scenario: (15 mins) DEAR ABBY: I’m a freshman in high school, and it’s great. I’ve made a lot of new friends, but most of them are guys. For some reason, they think I’m this girly-girl type who doesn’t like to get my hands dirty. When it’s time to do something that involves lifting, they think they have to take over. If they ever saw me at home, they’d think I was a whole different person. How can I show them I’m not a girly-girl while still being friends with them? — NO GIRLY-GIRL-14
Small Group Discussion: (10 mins)
How does our response show we care?
Review what resilience means
How do you build resilience?
Why is it important to seek advice from people who care about you?
How does seeking advice from someone you care about help build resilience?
Lesson Plan Day 2:
Journal: (5 minutes)
Write a Dear Abby Response to the problem you listed in your journal (see lesson plan day one)
Small Group Productive Group work: (25 mins)
Students can use the Problem-Solving Handout to gather their thoughts
Students will go through the scenarios listed on the Scenario Handout (Allow them to choose one they would like to work on together)
Students will use the Problem Solving Essentials tool and compose a solution for the problem
Whole Group: (10 mins)
Share aloud the advice your group offered for the teen
Exit Ticket: (5 mins)
How does advice from someone who cares about you help build resilience?
References
If students are unfamiliar with advice columns you can send them to the sites below to review and read some of the responses from Abby.
Dear Abby. 2020. Uexpress. [online] Available at: <https://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2020/2/9/2/teen-resents-being-treated-like-a> [Accessed 30 March 2020].
Dr. M., 2020. Ask Dr. M — Advice For Teens Advice Column. Advice For Teens, Advice For Kids, Advice For Children, Advice For Young Adults, Advice For Parents, Advice For Parents Of Kids, Advice For Parents Of Teens, Advice For Parents Of Young Adults. [online] Askdrm.org. Available at: <http://www.askdrm.org/col_teens.html> [Accessed 30 March 2020].
Fun Ways to Help Kids Learn the Power of Kindness
From guest contributor Dr. Michele Borba
When my children were little, we played a game called the Silent Fuzzy Pass. Fuzzy was a bright orange, ragged old stuffed animal that I suppose was a bear though it’s debatable. Each night, Fuzzy “mysteriously appeared” on one of my son’s pillows because the receiving child had been especially caring that day-and trying to sneak it there was always challenging. I only needed to put Fuzzy out once for the game to be effective.
The very next day-and the next few weeks-the boys were on a “kindness alert,” watching for a brother to say or do something nice so that they could later try to guess who Fuzzy would visit that night. All day long they would run to me with “kindness reports”: “Zach was really nice. He shared his toys with me.” “Jason was kind. He let me choose the game we played.” The only rule was that the boys had to explain why they felt the deed was kind. Later that night they would run to their pillows to see who Fuzzy had visited. The nonrecipients would tell the honored brother why Fuzzy probably chose him by reciting the kind deeds they remembered him doing earlier. Then the discussion would turn to their telling the brother how much they liked receiving his kind gestures, and the smile on the listener’s face was always priceless.
I still don’t remember how our “Fuzzy visits” got started. It probably was one of those spontaneous parenting moments when my kids’ “kindness level” needed readjusting, and the idea just came. But it was amazing how such a simple little strategy could be so effective in boosting the virtue in my family. It sure taught me a few things: I learned that by really targeting kindness for a few weeks at home, my sons focused more on the behavior, and doing so helped them acquire a repertoire of kind deeds. I also learned the importance of letting my children know that their kind deeds positively affected others. Their kind gestures blossomed in our home-and it was so simple!
I’ve used these virtue-building lessons with my kids as well as students ever since. And it also seems that research shows that that easy little “spur of the moment” technique is one of the best ways to boost our children’s kindness muscles.
The Science of Kindness
Studies firmly support the theory that by practicing small acts of kindness, people are often guided to perform more widespread acts of compassion even though that may not have been their original intention.
Samuel and Pearl Oliner discovered this phenomenon in their famous landmark study in Europe involving the rescuers of Jews from the Nazi persecution. Their book, The Altruistic Personality, is profound. In their interviews with the rescuers, a significant number said they had first planned to give only limited help, but their commitment grew once they became involved. The same phenomenon will take place with children once they recognize that their acts of kindness are appreciated. The more opportunities children have to experience what it feels like to be the giver of kindness, the more likely they will incorporate the virtue as part of their character. We need to make sure our children have those opportunities to extend kindness.
3 Ways Kids Can Practice Doing Kind Deeds
What follows are a few ideas parents, teachers, and club leaders have used that encourage kids to practice doing kind deeds.
1. Create a Kindness Center Piece
A family from Toledo shared this heart centerpiece activity with me; it not only makes a charming decoration but also nurtures kindness. Gather your family together and brainstorm a list of kind deeds kids can do for just about anybody. Set one criterion: the deeds must all come “straight from the heart” and can’t be something you purchase.
Here are a few simple kindness suggestions other kids have come up with: say hello, ask how they are, offer to help, share something (anything!), give a compliment, invite them to play, listen and wait, give a pat on the back, ask someone to have lunch with you, teach a game to a friend, let the other person “go first,” write a thank you note, hug someone you love, open the door, give praise, do an errand for someone, give a high five, recycle, rake the neighbor’s leaves, wave to a stranger, bring a flower to your teacher, let them choose first, smile
Next, help your kids cut out fifteen to twenty-five colored paper heart shapes about three inches wide. On each heart, write a different kind deed. Then have kids decorate the hearts with whatever art supplies you have handy–glitter, stickers, marking pens, doilies, and paper scraps. Tape the back of each heart onto a pipe cleaner. Now place the “heart flowers” into any vase.
Every morning, invite each family member to pull a heart shape from the centerpiece. Encourage him to do the kind deed for people sometime that day. Each night at dinner, have everyone take turns describing his kindness-giving experience. Be sure to point out that people react differently to kindness and that not everyone may seem appreciative, but kind deeds are always the right thing to do.
2. Assign Secret Kindness Pals in Your Class or Home
This idea is a great way to help children learn that giving can be just as fun as receiving. Start by writing each child’s name on a paper slip; put them all in a basket, bag or other container. Each participating child then takes a turn pulling a slip; the pulled name becomes the child’s secret kindness pal. Explain that her task for the next week-a few days for younger kids-is to do a secret act of kindness toward her pal each day. Emphasize that the pal should not “see” the child performing the deed-that’s what makes it secret and what makes the game so intriguing.
Some of the secret deeds kids come up with are just plain wonderful. I’ve had students draw pictures, write a song, pick a flower bouquet, and string a necklace. My own kids secretly cleaned a brother’s room (a true first!), did laundry, and even ironed a shirt (though this was definitely a time when the thought was what really counted, not what the shirt looked like later).
My favorite example came from a Girl Scout troop in New York. Each girl’s secret buddy was a cancer patient in a pediatric ward. Each day for a month, the girls did secret kindly deeds for the children, such as leaving e-mail messages for them on the hospital computers, bringing toys, making colorful posters to wish them a happy day, baking cookies, and even making tapes of their favorite music to give. The patients adored the gestures, but the girls got even more enjoyment from doing the secret caring deeds.
When I did this activity with students, I always allowed a few minutes before dismissal to ask: “Has anybody done something nice for you? What was it? How did it make you feel? Who do you think your secret pal was today?”
The discussion always generated ideas for more secret kind gestures and also clearly let the senders know that their gestures were appreciated. Warning: the key to the activity’s success is keeping the secret pal a secret-which is almost impossible for some kids ( like one of my own sons -so try to keep things lighthearted even if the secrecy rule isn’t strictly adhered to. Feel free to give younger kids hints for ideas they might try to keep things hush hush.
3. Make a Giving Tree Filled with Kind Deeds
One of the cutest ideas I’ve seen for helping kids practice kindness was done by a Boys and Girls Club in Atlanta. The leaders first read The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, a wonderful parable about a tree and a boy who grow old together and finally that recognize the greatest gift is giving of yourself. Next, they stood a large leafless tree branch in a pot and placed it in the middle of the room. The leaders then asked the kids to think of kind gestures they could do for someone when she looked sad or lonely like the tree. Each child’s idea was written on a six-inch leaf shape precut from colored paper, then hung to the branch with a paper clip.
In a short time, their Giving Tree was covered with kind ideas, such as give a hug, smile, call her at home, ask her to play, sing a song, say a kind word, share something, ask what you can do, draw a picture. The leaders finally said, “Each day during the week when you come to the club, go to the Giving Tree, find an idea you could do for someone to make his day brighter, and then do it. It will make not only his day better, but also yours.”
Parents, scout leaders, and teachers have told me they also made Giving Trees to help promote kindness with children. All you need is a small branch, plaster of paris, construction paper, scissors, paper clips, and a can. In fact, a fun family outing is taking a walk together just to find “the perfect branch.”
There are dozens of simple kindness rituals you can do with children.
A year-round Giving Tree: My girlfriend Cindy Morse kept her tree for years standing by her kitchen table. Every holiday, her children decorated the tree: paper bunnies for Easter, Kleenex ghosts for Halloween, American flags for the Fourth of July, and hearts with kind deeds for Valentine’s Day. It’s a wonderful family tradition you might want to begin. Cindy now does the same activity with her grandkids.
Pull a kind deed every day Giving Tree: My own family kept a small “Giving Tree” on our kitchen table. We’d periodically add more “kind deeds” written on small paper leaves to the tree. It was the perfect way to start. Each of us could look at one kind deed and then try to remember to do it for someone that day. A highlight of the evening dinner was talking about the kind deed and the impact it had on the individual.
A Giving Tree kindness wall at a school: The Shipley School in Pennsylvania just emailed that they were started a Kindness Wall today. Every student was writing (or drawing) on a Post-it note an act of kindness they had done or seen that day. The wall was wrapping the school! What ideas are you doing with your students or children? Please share! After all, the world needs kindness and it must start with our children. Let’s start kindness traditions and keep them going all year round!
Michele Borba, Ed.D. is an internationally renowned consultant, educational psychologist and recipient of the National Educator Award who has presented workshops to over a million participants worldwide. She is a recognized expert in parenting, bullying, youth violence, and character development and author of 22 books including UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About Me World, The 6Rs of Bullying Prevention: Best Proven Practices to Combat Cruelty and Build Respect,The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, and Building Moral Intelligence. She has appeared over 130 times on the TODAY show and is a frequent expert on national media including Dateline, The View, Dr. Oz, Anderson Cooper, CNN, Dr. Drew, and Dr. Phil. To book her for speaking or media even refer to her website: www.micheleborba.com. Follow her on twitter @MicheleBorba.
Overview:Learning about other traditions and holidays is important to promote acceptance not just tolerance of other viewpoints, religions, belief systems, and perspectives. This lesson will discuss having integrity with a focus on fairness to promote a classroom that embraces diversity.
Character Education Objectives:
Students will:
discuss traditions of their culture and family
share ideas about promoting a fair environment for all learners to be who they are
depict what it means to embrace culture using a form of artistic expression (Day 2)
Use the Venn Diagram to compare and contrast your family cultural tradition with your partner’s family cultural tradition
Small Group Discussion: (10 mins)
What is a definition of culture?
What makes up culture?
Whole Group Discussion: (15 mins)
As a class define culture- use the definitions created in small group and wordsmith to create a classroom definition
Discuss the elements that make up culture
How do we promote fairness in the diverse culture where we live?
What does integrity have to do with being fair to other cultures?
Exit Ticket: (5 mins)
What is something you learned about promoting cultural fairness and awareness today?
Lesson Plan Day Two
Journal: (5 mins)
What does it look and sound like to allow everyone to be who they are in a classroom?
Think-Pair-Share (5 mins)
Discuss the following quote with a partner: “Be yourself, everybody else is taken” – Oscar Wilde
Whole Group Discussion (5 mins)
Make a list with students about what is needed in a classroom of fairness to allow everyone to be who they are?
Individual Work (20 mins)
Give students the freedom to choose an activity from the Integrity and Fairness Cultural Expressions Project Grid to share about what it means to have the integrity to showing fairness for all cultures in the classroom.
Play some different cultural music while they work (or take suggestions from students and ensure they are not explicit).
Exit Ticket (5-10 mins)
Share your work with a partner or record a video of yourself sharing your Integrity and Fairness Cultural Expressions Project and post to your classroom social media using #CharacterCounts.
References
Teacher- to learn more information on teaching culture and to get some ideas to help with discussion check out this resource:
Overview:Life can be busy and can create distress in the lives of families and students. Therefore, it is important to highlight the need to have a growth mindset and to manage stress to respect yourself, your health, and your well-being.
Duration: 2 days (45 minutes each day)
Character Education Objectives:
Students will:
share ideas about good stress and distress on the body
discuss ways to use a growth mindset to navigate stressful situations
Overview: Students today need more opportunities to build their emotional toughness in a world that is as fast paced and ever changing. Thus, creating conditions that allow them to take responsibility for their behavior, emotions, and responses is important in building resilience for learning and development. This lesson will have students focus on their emotional toughness and highlight the need to be responsible for our responses in emotional situations.
Character Education Objectives:
Students will:
utilize the Scale of Emotion to describe how they feel
discuss Emotional Toughness Indicators
reflect on their own emotional resilience and the importance of taking responsibility for their own emotional response.
Using the Scale of Emotion explain where you feel you are today and why.
Small Group or Whole Group Discussion (30 mins)
Read through the Emotional Toughness Indicators
As a group discuss/respond to the following:
Emotional Flexibility
Define productive and unproductive states of emotion
What emotions make you unproductive?
Why are emotions so important?
Who is responsible for your emotions?
Emotional Responsiveness
What are some positive responses students when you face unpleasant or unproductive emotions?
Give an example of a time you took responsibility for creating a positive emotional response
How did this impact you and those around you?
Emotional Resiliency
Look up the definition of resilience and come up with a working definition with your group
What is a situation you have had to show resiliency in your own life?
How has this situation made you more responsible and resilient?
Emotional Strength
How do people develop a never-quit attitude?
References Hurst, K., 2020. Learn How To Move UP The (Vibrational) Emotional Scale. [online] The Law Of Attraction. Available at: <https://www.thelawofattraction.com/law-attraction-learning-move-emotional-scale/> [Accessed 24 March 2020].
Not all stress is bad. Most, if not all of us recognize this simple fact, and yet when was the last time you heard anyone say, “I’m stressed” with a smile on their face or joy in their heart?
The reality is, stress exists on a continuum, from good stress to distress. Good stress is the stress that challenges you, motivates you, perhaps even helps you focus. Teachers put their students through good stress every day by asking them to take an more challenging math problems, tackle difficult texts, and attempt new skills. Good stress helps us grow and develop as human beings.
However, there comes a point on the continuum when good stress becomes distress, when stress stops being motivating and instead becomes overwhelming. It’s important for each of us to be aware of our stress at any given moment so that we know if we are being challenged (good stress) or overcome (distress).
It’s also important for us to be aware of stress of others so that we can continue to support and challenge them as needed. But, recognizing if other’s are in a state of good stress or distress can be challenging. Not everyone wears their stress publicly. To help others think about their stress, and gain an awareness of their stress, draw the Good Stress-Distress continuum (see below) on whiteboard or sheet of paper. Ask your students, athletes, kids, or colleagues to put an X on the curve indicating their current stress level. They don’t need to explain why they are feeling that good stress or distress – this activity is simply about awareness. However, as a team leader, educator, coach, or parent, you can use your knowledge of others stress to push them further (good stress) or provide support if they are in distress.
This activity is one of several extension activities in the Growth Mindset module of The ESSENTIALS, a new resource for middle and high school students. The ESSENTIALS modules draw upon nearly 25 years of applied research and development in various K-16 education settings, the workplace, and diverse athletic environments. Each module is a blueprint of research-based best practices for developing an essential character and culture skill needed for success in school, work, and beyond. Click here to order The ESSENTIALS for your students.
There is, perhaps, no more important time to be a good citizen than during a global pandemic. Through our citizenship, each of us plays a critical role in contributing to the health and well-being of others. Whether returning to the classroom or engaging in online learning, educators, administrators, students, and families have an important role to play in maintaining the health and safety of all parties and contributing to a positive educational environment.
The Leader-to-Detractor tool serves two important purposes. First, it defines what each role – detractor, participant, and leader – looks like in action. Good citizens are able to change detractor behaviors to participant behaviors, and participant behaviors to leader behaviors. Second, one can use the tool reflectively by asking, “were my actions that of a leader, detractor, or participant, and what do I need to do better or differently tomorrow to be a better citizen?”
Citizenship for Educators: Educators can use the Leader-to-Detractor tool to define what each role looks like in their classroom (virtual or in-person). You may choose to include leader to detractor behaviors that are specific to following health guidelines as well. Share these definitions with parents so they know what your expectations are as well.
Citizenship for Students: Once students have worked with educators or parents on defining what leaders, participants, and detractors look like in action, they can engage in daily self-reflection to gauge their behaviors for the day. Students should note if there are instances in which they are more likely to be a detractor or participant and create and follow a plan to be a leader in every circumstance. Their reflection can be centered on school, home, following health guidelines, or a combination of all three.
Citizenship for Families: Families can use the Leader-to-Detractor tool to identify leader, participant, and detractor behaviors they observe each day. These may be behaviors the student exhibits, or observations of others, whether at the grocery store, at work, or in the community. Ask your student what leader-to-detractor behaviors they notice in others each day, and what could be done better or differently to be a leader in each situation.
Caring can be demonstrated in numerous ways. We can demonstrate caring by maintaining social connections, supporting friends and family who are struggling, completing random acts of kindness, or simply being available for a friend who needs a safe, compassionate listener.
The attitude and effort we choose to display is another way we show caring. Bringing a positive attitude each day, to every task, is a great way to show that you care. Likewise, the amount of effort we put forth is another indicator of how much we care about someone or something. The Attitude + Effort = Improvement (AEI) tool is a simple way to reflect on whether you brought a positive attitude and effort to a task, and by extension, how much you cared.
Caring for Educators: Use the AEI tool to define for your students what great, good, and poor attitude and effort looks like in action. Be sure to help students see the distinction between attitude and effort (you can have a positive attitude and put forth no effort, and vice versa). Ask students what they can do to demonstrate a great attitude and work ethic each day, whether remote or in-person. Then, have them reflect on their attitude and effort each day.
Caring for Students: Students can track their daily attitude and effort on a 1 (poor) through 3 (great) scale and see if they notice any trends. For example, their attitude and effort is great when working on math, but poor when working on Spanish. Students can then create a plan for what to do better or differently to improve their attitude and effort where needed.
Caring for Families: The AEI tool provides a simple way to engage your student in self-reflection. Ask your student to rate himself or herself on their attitude and effort each day and ask them what they can do better the next day. The conversation is even more powerful you reflect on their own attitude and effort each day and try to improve with your student.
In a time of uncertainty, it can be difficult to find fairness in diverse groups of stakeholders. Is it fair to prohibit young people from participating in social activities when it appears the effects of COVID-19 aren’t as severe for young and healthy people? On the other hand, is it fair to individuals in a demographic with more risk if young people increase their exposure to the virus and then spread it to others?
When clear solutions aren’t available, it’s up to individuals to negotiate win-win solutions that account for the needs and wants of all parties to reach a fair solution for the greater good. To do this, one must listen to understand what the other party wants by asking questions and restating what the other person says to ensure clarity. You must also clearly describe what it is you desire and why. Only when all parties understand that this is what you want and this is what I want, can you work together to find a “we could” win-win solution.
Fairness for Educators: Few things will be normal this school year. Educators will have to negotiate win-win solutions on everything from how students will pass each other in the hallways to how students will eat lunch. In every negotiation, commit to understanding the other person’s perspective, clearly state your idea, and stay focused on your common ground – what you both want to achieve.
Fairness for Students: Students can use the Win-Win Negotiation tool to help them find a compromise with teachers or parents. For example, students using win-win negotiation when asking permission to attend a social event would clearly articulate what they want (to attend the event) and why they want it (to see their friends), and would listen to and understand what their parent wants (child to be safe and healthy). Then, both parties can focus on solutions that can meet this objective (you can attend the event if there are less than 10 people and you wear a mask).
Fairness for Families: Families can use the Win-Win Negotiation tool to help find a compromise over work time if students are working from home. Or, the tool could be used to reach an agreement on what social activities students can engage in. Families can even use it when finding solutions with schools on everything from behavior issues to virtual versus in-person attendance.
