Folks who advance their career on the backs of others

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts
From our guest contributor, Frank Sonnenberg

Despite the fact that the majority of people play by the rules and try to do the right thing, there are a number of bad actors in every organization who have no problem advancing their careers on the backs of others. Here are some you may recognize:

Emperors. These people climb the corporate ladder by capitalizing on who they know and where they’ve been, rather than on what they’re contributing today. They may have friends in high places, have their walls filled with diplomas, or have previously worked for a blue-chip company. They’re like an oasis. They may look wonderful from a distance, but the closer you get, the more obvious it becomes that it’s all just a mirage. In this case, emperors truly have no clothes.

Pretty Boys (or Girls). These people really look the part. They are the trendiest dressers, belong to the finest country clubs, and look like they could be on the cover of Vogue or GQ. Similar to Emperors, the Pretty set rise up the corporate ladder based on appearance rather than performance. But their veneer is thin, and when the spotlight gets too bright, you can begin to see right through them. In this case, you shouldn’t judge a book simply by its cover.

A– Kissers. These people spend all their time fawning over their superiors. You need to reduce costs? No problem. We just won’t give people raises this year. (Too bad there’s only enough for management.) These A– Kissers spend 99.9 percent of their time in closed-door management meetings with little time to provide direction for their own team — regardless of the impact that it has on results. In this case, it’s only a matter of time before their people say “ENOUGH!” and tell THEM to kiss off.

Delegators. They say there are only two kinds of people, those who are willing to work and those who are willing to let them. These counterfeit superstars are in the latter group. They have the power to say: “You want something done? No problem. In fact, rather than get it to you by Friday, how about tomorrow morning?” Then they get their staff to stay late while they walk out the door at 5 p.m. These people always volunteer for more work; are calm, cool, and collected; and have the cleanest desks in the office. How is that possible? It’s because they delegate everything! In this case, the only thing that stops at their desk is the credit they don’t deserve, not the work.

Schmoozers. These folks could win an award for Mr. or Ms. Congeniality. Everybody loves them. Schmoozers know all the ballgame stats; they know how to tell a joke; and they’re up-to-date on the inside dirt. Their colleagues like them so much that they don’t mind taking on their workload while the schmoozer is entertaining clients elsewhere. In this case, work is a party for schmoozers.

Bystanders. These slouches do just enough to get by. They’ve been with the organization for a zillion years, rarely speak up, never make waves, and would make themselves invisible if they could. They spend their day moving piles of paper on their desk while they watch everyone else go crazy trying to get the job done. In fact, when they’re out on vacation, nobody even knows they’re missing. In this case, the last survivors on Earth, along with cockroaches, will be the bystanders.

Scavengers. These are the types who take the credit for everybody else’s work. They surround themselves with wonderful, talented people and spend the day determining if there’s an idea worth stealing and fine-tuning their personal PR machine. In this case, they’ll continue to rise up the company ranks as long as their “credit” remains good.

Busybodies. These individuals spend their whole day trying to prove how busy they are — rather than getting anything done. Whenever they’re asked to do something, they spend twenty minutes describing how much work they have on their plate. In this case, if busybodies ever needed a role model, they could look to a turnstile—it’s out in front, goes around in circles, creates wind, but never gets anywhere.

Any of these personality types sound familiar?

 

This is an excerpt from Follow Your Conscience by Frank Sonnenberg released November 2014.

Frank SonnenbergFrank is an award-winning author. He has written six books and over 300 articles. Frank was recently named one of “America’s Top 100 Thought Leaders” and one of America’s Most Influential Small Business Experts. Frank has served on several boards and has consulted to some of the largest and most respected companies in the world. Additionally, FrankSonnenbergOnline was named among the “Best 21st Century Leadership Blogs,” among the “Top 100 Socially-Shared Leadership Blogs,” and one of the “Best Inspirational Blogs On the Planet.” Frank’s new book, BookSmart: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness was released November 2016. © 2017 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.




Meet this year’s Iowa Character Award recipients!

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts

Every month we will be celebrating one of this year’s Iowa Character Award recipients. This month we’re celebrating Jack Eherenman, one of this year’s Citizen of Character Award recipients!

Jack Eherenman’s work with wheelchair sports began when he identified a need to help his son be able to participate on the high school track team. His son, who was born with Spina Bifida, wanted to play sports. A loving and caring father of four boys, Jack turned a desire to help his son into a commitment to help everyone with physical disabilities experience the joy of sports.

Jack serves as the co-director of the SportAbility of Iowa Adapted Sports Camps at the University of Northern Iowa, Coordinator of the Iowa Chariots wheelchair basketball team, director of the YMCA Blackhawk Adapted Sports Clinics and is also involved with SportAbility of Iowa and Paralympic Sport Club of Eastern Iowa.

Jack’s experience as a skilled carpenter has been helpful to adapting and repairing wheelchairs for various sports. He continues to be active in operating adaptive sports camps, ensuring they are funded, organized, and staffed.

Jayden, a student who attended a camp hosted by Jack, says “I learned that life’s challenges are not overcome by one’s talent, but by one’s heart. I love you, Jack. Thank you for giving me my legs back.”

Take a look at Jack’s award video here!

Check back next month to learn more about the 2017 Iowa Character Award recipients!

 




Is civility in youth sports lacking?

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts

From our guest contributor, Nancy Justis

“Civility” comes from the Latin word “civilitas”,  which means city.  A city has to be a place of civil behavior.  Similar to how laws set the guidelines for society, rules are critical to every sport.

A game is something that takes place according to the rules.  Cheating on the rules is as much a threat to the game as lawless behavior is a threat to civilization.  Civility is not a luxury.  It’s essential to the preservation and enjoyment of the game.  If we can’t trust the rules and enforce them, we can’t trust the game.

According to the NYU Sports and Society program, “Sports are often referred to as fun and games.  And they are, but they are far more than that.  Sports are a reflection of the most fundamental norms and values that shape human society.  Sports represent escape from the world, but they also are a huge presence within the world, accounting for hundreds of billions of dollars in revenue and bringing together more nations and groups than any political entity is capable of doing.

“Sports are a test bed for science and medicine, as well as for teaching, communicating and mentoring.  Sports are big business.  Sports fuel the media.  Sports are critical to advertising and merchandising many of the world’s most lucrative products.  Sports shape the beliefs and values of our children.  Sports have and can lead the way in societal reform and ethical progress.  Sports create our heroes, villains, and pariahs.”

And according to the Josephson Institute Center for Sports Ethics and the Arizona Sports Summit Accord, “sports can and should enhance the character and uplift the ethics of the nation.  Participation in sports is a privilege, not a right.  At its best, athletic competition can hold intrinsic value for our society.  It is a symbol of a great ideal:  pursuing victory with honor.  Sports are a major social force that shapes the quality and character of the American culture.”

Sports in itself is an entertainment culture.  However, youth sports needs to be a development zone culture, striving towards “Better Athletes, Better People”, the goal of the Iowa Youth Sports Initiative in step with Positive Coaching Alliance.  The culture of “win at all costs” has no place in youth sports.  Adults taking over the sports play from the kids has no place in youth sports.  Breaking the bank for travel teams, club play versus school play, both of which eliminate certain sections of the populace, have no place in youth sports. 

How did we get here?

The culture and pressures to win over learning life lessons and simply having fun have materialized at the top and have trickled down to youth sports.  Having power over rather than respect for the game.  That’s difficult to turn off once it’s been turned on.

Bullying,  harassment and intimidation are often tolerated because they become perceived as normal.  This is especially true where high-energy, high-ambition attitudes prevail such as in a locker room.  Peers can look at bullies as popular leaders worthy of respect.  They often have high social status which grants them power.

Abusive conduct such as bullying cannot exist but for an organizational culture that allows it.  Sports programs are inherently competitive, and contact sports encourage aggressive behavior.  When athletes are rewarded for running faster, hitting harder and throwing further than their peers, it is understandable that especially younger athletes have difficulty understanding that aggressive behavior is unacceptable beyond the boundaries of the game.

Research shows that those bullied are seven times more likely to be depressed and are more likely to be suicidal.  Bullies have a greater risk of health and stability problems, including higher rates of alcoholism, drug use, and of dropping out. 

Each of us should look at ourselves and ask if we’ve personally had experiences with disrespect, abuse or bullying by a coach, athlete or parent.  What did you do about it?

How do you develop a positive locker room culture?  The Honor Call system is one way.  A Northwestern College volleyball coach developed the system where players self-report when they touch a ball even if the referees don’t see the infraction.  She and her staff initiated a series of concepts that would help her players govern life both on and off the court, including integrity.

Each of us is responsible for positive outcomes.  How we get there is what’s important.  Respect and sportsmanship do not come naturally.  We want to win, but not at all costs — it’s about the journey.  To be ethical is a deliberative thought.

For more information on civility in youth sports, click here.

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCountsNancy Justis has over 40 years of journalistic experience ranging from newspaper and magazine writing and editing, to collegiate public relations. At a time when women were a virtual non-entity in the athletics media relations field, she blazed the trail.  She has over 30 years of experience in the promotion of sports teams and working with student-athletes.  She was Sports Information Director/Assistant Athletics Director for Media Relations at the University of Northern Iowa for most of those years, publicizing the Panthers’ nationally-recognized men’s basketball and football teams. She is a member of the Cedar Valley Character Counts Committee and serves on the board of the Cedar Valley Sports Commission.  She freelance writes for various publications.
Learn more about character education.



NYCL 2018 Participants

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Woodward – Granger

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Remembering the big picture

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts

From our guest contributor, Nancy Justis. 

Across the country, there are thousands of opportunities for kids of all ages to participate in competitive sports, ranging from city recreation programs, all the way up to elite and AAU teams.  Most of these programs are coached by volunteers.  Many of these volunteers are moms and dads of kids on the teams.

As one of those former kid athletes and now a spectator watching my grandsons from the stands, I understand the pluses and minuses of the volunteer coach.  Understandably, there are the coaches who seem to love what they are doing and do it the right way.  There are others who struggle with the concept of coaching youth sports.

Volunteer or not, I think it is imperative that the volunteer coach asks him or herself, “Why do I want to coach?  How should I coach?  What is my motivation to coach?”

My biggest pet peeve with youth coaches is that they stress winning over development.  Winning is important for motivation and stick-to-itness, but learning fundamentals and life lessons is so much more important.

Positive Coaching Alliance, a national non-profit that makes “Better Athletes, Better People” through on-line and live courses, offers these tips for the parent-coach.

  • Be clear on your own goals for coaching.  Coaches of kids just starting to play a sport may have the simple goal of a season enjoyable enough that everyone returns for next season.
  • Share your goals with your players and parents from the start.  Have a pre-season parent meeting or at the end of a practice to let them know why you are coaching.  “Let them have so much fun they’ll return next season” and “to also teach some skills and life lessons”.
  • Invite the parents to help.  At practices and games.
  • Welcome each player by name at every practice and game.  They’ll feel welcome and positive.
  • Plan practices that keep kids active.  They’ll stay more focused.  Avoid lines.  Bring plenty of equipment so they aren’t standing around.  Repeat drills for practice.
  • Face the sun, take a knee and be brief.  Get onto their level physically so you can see eye-to-eye.  Make sure you are facing into the sun. Shorter discussions aids in attention spans than fewer longer discussions.
  • Pick one-to-two areas of focus per practice/game.  Simpler is better for focus.
  • Create a team cheer and cheer often.  Kids love having adults be silly with them.
  • End practice/competition on a positive note.  “Who saw one of your teammates do something well?”  “Parents, what did you see that you liked?”
  • Don’t forget that it can be hard.  You go in with high expectations but don’t have control over the outcome.  Share your challenges with coaches who have been doing it longer.

Volunteering can change your life.  I read a blog recently by Kate Leavell and I thought she was right on.

“Coaching youth sports is less about the sport and more about the development of people. ..You’re leading kids with no life experience down a road that will teach them how to navigate their future in an environment filled with fun and competition.  You can learn the skills and the breakdowns of your sport in the myriad of educational sources out there — what you really need to coach — is heart!

“It may be stressful, take up a lot of your time, and you may feel overwhelmed, but at the end of the season — you’ll never be the same, you will be (a) better, more enlightened and more passionate human being.  Because once you are called coach it won’t last for just a season.  Once you are called coach — you are one for life.”

Finally, “Changing the Game Project” says coaches are accountable to athletes in the following ways:

  • Treat them with respect and encourage them as they learn.
  • Be a positive role model.
  • Be a clear, consistent communicator and listener.
  • Make it safe to fail and learn.

I could go on and on about what makes a good or bad youth sports coach but this is a start.  Remember, it’s all for the kids.

For more information about civility in youth sports, click here!

 

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCountsNancy Justis has over 40 years of journalistic experience ranging from newspaper and magazine writing and editing, to collegiate public relations. At a time when women were a virtual non-entity in the athletics media relations field, she blazed the trail.  She has over 30 years of experience in the promotion of sports teams and working with student-athletes.  She was Sports Information Director/Assistant Athletics Director for Media Relations at the University of Northern Iowa for most of those years, publicizing the Panthers’ nationally-recognized men’s basketball and football teams. She is a member of the Cedar Valley Character Counts Committee and serves on the board of the Cedar Valley Sports Commission.  She freelance writes for various publications.

Learn more about character education.




8 ways to help children develop caring mindsets

@TheRayCenter #CharacterCounts

From our guest contributor, Michele Borba

Raising Kids To Think WE, Not ME!

Research by Nancy Eisenberg confirms that we generally behave in ways consistent with our self-image. So children who see themselves as “Caring People” are more likely to step in, help others and do the right thing. That’s why I named “Moral Identity” as the second of the “Nine Crucial Empathy Habits” in my book, UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All About Me World

How do we help children develop Moral Identities so they see themselves as caring and kind and are more likely to use those beliefs to guide their behavior?

How do we help our children learn to value other people’s thoughts and feelings?

One of the most powerful ways is by involving them in real, meaningful first-hand “giving-to-others” type experiences.

How “Doing Good” Reaps a “Helping High”

Robert Ornstein and David Sobel in their best-selling book, Healthy Pleasuresdescribed the glow that people experience as a “Helper’s High.” It’s the euphoria that people feel when they help others close to them. And that “high” literally translates into a feeling of warmth in which you are full of energy but also very calm at the same time.

8 Ways to Match Kids’ Interests and Strengths with Volunteer Projects

As in most families, each of my sons has different interests, skills, and strengths. To have all of them involved in the same giving to others project wouldn’t have been wise. So my husband and I tried to encourage each child to find a project that matched his concerns and talents. Not only did they enjoy volunteering, but were more committed to their causes. And all three boys caught that “Helper’s High” and continue to want to give back to others. Here are ways to match your child’s interests, passions and strengths with volunteer projects:

1. Likes to read, write, tell stories: Offer to read or write letters for young kids, the elderly, or people with disabilities; start a letter-writing campaign about an issue that concerns him; be a pen pal with an orphan overseas, donate used books to a library, homeless shelter, or classroom.

2. Enjoys sports, theatre, gymnastics, or dance: Help coach younger children in dancing, gymnastics, a favorite sport, or acting, volunteer for the Special Olympics; help students with disabilities at a local school; repair toys for needy or sick kids; sew blankets for a shelter.

3. Is original, enjoys working alone to pursue own interests and goals: “Adopt” someone who could use a friend such as an elderly person; teach a special hobby—magic, juggling, art—to needy kids; ask permission to start a food drive at the parents’ workplace or community.

4. Enjoys being with others, likes joining or leading groups: Start a club and make snacks for homeless kids or soup for a shelter; put together a walk-a-thon donate proceeds to a local charity; go door-to-door with a parent and friends collecting warm clothes to give to homeless.

5. Is musical, plays instruments, likes to sing: Play an instrument at nursing homes; organize sing-alongs at a shelter or assisted living; teach needy kids to play an instrument.

6. Is logical and mathematics, enjoys science and math, likes to figure things out: Tutor math, science, or computers to younger children; play chess or checkers to kids at a hospital; make flyers asking for specific donations to a shelter and post in the community.

7. Likes to draw and design, imaginative and creative: Paint or hang up hand-painted pictures at a shelter, make greeting cards and deliver them to a hospital; do craft projects with the elderly.

8. Likes the out-of-doors and nature: Plant vegetables then donate the harvest to soup kitchen or shelter;help kids at a shelter plant a garden; clean up a park, plant trees on school grounds

Find a project that matches your child’s interests, abilities and passions to realize he is a difference maker.

Michele Borba

Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, parenting expert, TODAY show contributor and author of 22 books including The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries and UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World.

Check out: micheleborba.com or follow her on Twitter @micheleborba.

Learn more about character education.