It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. You have to unload the groceries from the car before the ice cream melts. You have to hurry to get everyone dressed and ready to go so you won’t be late. You have to rush through your check list before a big meeting to make sure you didn’t forget anything. You have to. You have to. You have to.

We often get caught up in these “have-to’s” and we forget to celebrate the memories being made along the way. Steven Addis gave a TedTalk about this very dilemma. Addis, a father and a photographer, admitted to being behind the camera more often than he was in front of it. He shared 15 of his favorite photos with the audience and to their surprise, he didn’t take a single one. Each photo featured him and his daughter over the span of several years on yearly trips to New York City taken by strangers.

Addis explained that while he isn’t in many family photos, he reflected on these pictures as an effort to “consciously create memories”. It doesn’t matter that the lighting wasn’t always great. It doesn’t matter that the photos weren’t taken by professionals. What matters is that he and his daughter have photos to remind them of the trips they took and the memories they made together. Often we breeze through life without realizing that we are making memories, moments in our lives that we hope to remember for a long time. That said, take a break from all of the “have-to’s” and acknowledge the memory by taking a photo, by sharing a smile with a friend or giving a loved one a hug.

Try making a conscious effort to create memories. You’ll look back someday and be glad you did.

Click here to see the full TedTalk given by Steven Addis!

For more information on how to be mindful, click here.

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From our guest contributor, Michael Josephson. 

A teenager wants to go to a party, but she’s sure her mom won’t let her. So she and her friend concoct a false cover story.

What’s the big deal? Most kids lie to their parents from time to time,and their parents probably lied to their parents. Despite rhetoric about virtue being its own reward, a great many adults – and a higher proportion of kids – are more likely to make their choices based on a calculation of risks and benefits than moral principles.

Since young people are particularly susceptible to choices that indulge impulses and favor immediate needs and wants, we need to teach them how making bad choices to gratify such desires can sabotage their most important relationships and impede critical life objectives.

Every dishonest act has at least two potential consequences: 1) the actual penalty, and 2) loss of trust. The second is by far the more serious and underestimated.

This is especially true in parent-child relationships. Where trust is important, there are no little lies. When parents don’t believe their children, their cords of control will be tighter and held longer. The price of lying is lost freedom.

It’s often difficult to predict how a decision today will affect tomorrow, but dishonesty often has a lasting negative impact on relationships and reputations as well as self-image and character.

From both a moral and practical perspective, honesty is the best policy.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

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From our guest contributor, Frank Sonnenberg.

We’re all confronted by countless choices each day. Some have minimal consequences, such as whether to have our ice cream in a cup or cone, while other decisions can be life changing. And while some of these choices may impact our lives today, other choices may not affect us for years to come. The important thing to remember is that we are a product of the choices we make. Each decision helps to define who we are and how we’re different from one another. Making good choices begins with taking charge of the decision-making process.

Manage the big stuff. It’s very easy to get sidetracked by insignificant issues in life. If you spend a lot of time on trivial stuff, you won’t have time to contemplate things that matter.

Values matter. Make decisions that are consistent with your core beliefs and values. The alternative invariably leads to regret.

Learn from the past. Learn from your experiences and the experiences of others. Identify situations where you’ve had a similar choice in the past. How can you apply those lessons learned to the existing situation?

Know what you know and what you don’t know. Don’t try to be an expert in everything. Seek input and advice when variables lie outside your comfort zone.

Keep the right perspective. View an issue from every vantage point. What do the facts say? What is your intuition telling you? Is your conscience trying to tell you something? Listen up.

Don’t procrastinate. You’ll rarely have all the information that you need to make a “perfect” decision. So don’t demand perfection. The philosopher Voltaire warned against letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. That advice still holds true today.

Once you make a decision, don’t look back, make it work. Don’t second-guess yourself. You can’t relive the past. It’s a waste of valuable time and energy.

Life’s not about checking an item off your to-do list or trying to impress others with how busy you are. Life’s about being content with where you’ve been, where you are now, and where you’re going. It’s about being proud of who you are, what you represent, and the impact that you’re having on others. This begins and ends with the choices that you make. So give some serious thought to every choice you face. As Albert Camus once said, “Life is a sum of all your choices.” Are you happy with the path that you’re choosing for yourself? The choice is yours.

This is adapted from Follow Your Conscience: Make a Difference in Your Life & in the Lives of Others By Frank Sonnenberg © 2014 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.

Frank is an award-winning author. He has written six books and over 300 articles. Frank was recently named one of “America’s Top 100 Thought Leaders” and one of America’s Most Influential Small Business Experts. Frank has served on several boards and has consulted to some of the largest and most respected companies in the world. Additionally, FrankSonnenbergOnline was named among the “Best 21st Century Leadership Blogs,” among the “Top 100 Socially-Shared Leadership Blogs,” and one of the “Best Inspirational Blogs On the Planet.” Frank’s new book, BookSmart: Hundreds of real-world lessons for success and happiness was released November 2016. © 2017 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.

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From our guest contributor, Michele Borba. 

Over and over, researchers are finding that empathy is the cornerstone for becoming a happy, well-adjusted, successful adult. Studies show that possessing empathy also makes children more likable, more employable, better leaders, and even more conscience-driven. The best news is that empathy can be cultivated, and one of the best empathy generators are service projects to help kids step out of their comfort zones, open their eyes, and expose them to others’ lives. Here are 10 simple, science-backed tips adapted for this blog from my book, “UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed In Our All-About-Me World” to inspire generosity in your children 365 days a year:

1. Prioritize caring. Prioritize charitableness in your family chats. Be clear that you expect them not only to do their academic best, but to care about others. Display photos of your kids engaged in thoughtful endeavors, rather than just showcasing their school successes, athletic prowess or having them look cute for the camera, so they recognize that how much they care about others matters to you.

2. Be a charitable role model. The old saying, “Children learn what they live,” has a lot of truth to it. Studies show that if parents are generous and giving, kids are likely to adopt those qualities. So show your child the joy you get by giving.

There are so many daily opportunities: phoning a friend who is down, collecting blankets for the homeless, volunteering at a food bank. After volunteering, be sure to tell your child how good it made you feel.

3. Make it a family routine. A simple way to inspire children’s generosity is by reinforcing it. Keep a box by your backdoor to encourage family members to donate their gently used toys, games or books. Then each time the box is filled, deliver the items as a family to a shelter or needy family. Make charity a routine ritual that becomes a cherished childhood memory.

4. Acknowledge charitableness. Whenever your child acts in a kind-hearted way, say so: Thank them for being kind or helping out. Also, let your kids overhear (without them thinking they’re supposed to) you describing their caring qualities to others.

5. Use real events. Instead of just bemoaning bad news, talk about how you might help in the local community. It could be donating items to help after a widely publicized fire, or thinking about ways to assist the most vulnerable – like the homeless – during the winter. You can start at home, too, such as teaching them to be there for a family member who is going through a hard time.

6. Start a “giving plan.” Encourage your children to give a portion of their allowance – or tooth fairy money – to a charity of their choice. Provide three small plastic containers for younger kids or envelopes for teens that are labeled: “Save,” “Spend,” and “Give,” and help them decide which percentage of their money is to be allocated to each container.

7. Find your child’s passion. Kids are more likely to want to get involved in service projects that match their interests. Help your kids choose something they’re good at and enjoy doing. If he loves reading: read to the blind; enjoys writing: be a pen pal to an overseas orphan; likes sports: volunteer for the Special Olympics; is musical: play at a homeless shelter; enjoys knitting: knit a beanie for a soldier. You get the idea.

8. Make charity a family affair – or share the experience with friends. Find a service to do together, like serving in a soup kitchen. If your child enjoys volunteering with friends, ask if she’d like to do her project with someone. Or your child can form a club with neighbors, classmates, members of their scout troop or a church group.

9. Recap their impact. Research has found that children who are given the opportunity to help others tend to become more helpful, especially if the impact of their helpful actions is pointed out. So encourage your child to reflect on her volunteering experiences: “What did the person do when you helped? How do you think he felt? How did you feel? Is lending a hand easier than it used to be?” And do remind your kids that their caring efforts are making a difference.

10. Keep giving. A once-a-year day of volunteering is rarely enough for a child to adopt a charitable mindset. Look for ways to help your children experience the joy of giving on a regular basis: baking an extra batch of cookies for the lonely neighbor next door, adopting an orphan overseas (a portion of their allowance each week goes to that child), singing to a nursing home to add a little joy. The goal of getting kids involved in charity is not about winning the Nobel Peace Prize, but to give them the opportunity to experience goodness.

The truth is, kids don’t learn how to be kind from reading about it in a textbook, but from doing kind deeds. The more children witness or experience what it feels like to give, the more likely they will develop a charitable spirit. And that’s how we’ll raise the next generation to be good, caring people.

Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, parenting expert, TODAY show contributor and author of 22 books including The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries and UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World.

Check out: micheleborba.com or follow her on Twitter @micheleborba.

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