From our guest contributor Michael Josephson.

Jimmy was nine when his mom told him his little sister was sick and would die if she didn’t get a blood transfusion – and Jimmy was one of the only people in the world who had the rare blood type needed. She asked if he would be willing to let the doctors give some of his blood to his sister. Jimmy was very somber. He didn’t know what was involved, but he loved his sister and he agreed to give his blood.

On the appointed day, Jimmy was solemn, but brave, when the nurse put the needle into his vein and began to drain his blood. After a few minutes of watching the bag fill, he looked scared.

The nurse said, “Don’t worry, it will be over soon and it won’t hurt.”

The boy accepted her assurances and asked, “How much longer will it be before I die?”

The nurse was shocked. “You’re not going to die!” she said, and then wept when she realized he thought he had to give all his blood to save his sister.

I love this story and get teary every time I tell it – even though I know it’s a parable.*

Whether or not this exact event occurred, the story illustrates a profound and uplifting fact about human nature — the capacity for voluntary self-sacrifice. And while we see a similar phenomenon in the animal world, in a mother’s fierce protection of her young, the fact that that this willingness to risk everything to save another that extends to the whole family is uniquely human. Even more significant proof of the power of real love and the spiritual concept of duty is endless evidence of strangers risking their lives and giving their time and money to help others.

Some fear that if they give too much, they will have too little, never realizing how much we get by giving. Consider this observation by Mother Teresa, “I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.”

In these cynical times, it’s important that we acknowledge and celebrate this intrinsic human quality. It is this quality that fuels a realistic hope that we can overcome our darker instincts, so we live better lives and create a society where others live better lives.

* This is my version of a  parable that I first saw in Chicken Soup for the Soul. The story touched and inspired me because it reveals one of the noblest and distinguishing qualities of humankind: the willingness to sacrifice oneself for another. Even after I later discovered on snopes.com, a website that traces the source of “urban myths,” that the roots of this moving parable go back at least 80 years, I still find it uplifting. Most great teachers, including Confucius, Jesus, Mohammad and Buddha, have used parables — stories to teach and  illustrate a moral lesson point. I hope you don’t object.

Michael Josephson is an influential and internationally renowned champion of character education for youth and ethical conduct in business, government, policing, journalism, sports, healthcare and law.  He is credited by many as the person most responsible for reviving and professionalizing the character education in school and youth-serving organizations. In 1992, under the auspices of the Josephson Institute he created CHARACTER COUNTS!, the world’s most widely implemented character development initiative based on a common language of shared values – the Six Pillars of Character) and Pursuing Victory With Honor (1996), a companion program promoting ethics in sports. 

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Case studies are a great way to get students to think about real-life situations, and practice making ethical decisions in a safe environment.  Case students provide us time to think about the impact and consequences of our decisions so that when we face difficult decisions in real-time we have already worked through some of the ethical questions in a given scenario.

The links below offer numerous case studies that may be applicable to your classroom.  While the links are separated by grade level, you may find that many of the middle school case studies are just as applicable to high school students.  As your students work through these ethical dilemmas, here a few questions that may guide their discussion:

• If the situation were reversed, is this how I would want to be treated?
• Is this fair to everybody involved in and affected by my actions?
• Does this represent the whole truth – no distortions, omissions, or spin?
• Would I want to live in a world where everybody did this?

Case studies for high school students

Case studies for middle school students

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A father asked his young son to help him with some yard work.  After they finished, the father asked his son to pull out a tiny plant growing in their yard.The boy took the plant into his small hands and easily pulled it out.

Next, his father asked him to pull out a larger plant. The boy pulled hard and eventually the plant came out, roots and all.

The father pointed at a large bush growing in their yard and asked his son to pull it out.  The boy pulled with both hands, using all his strength to try to remove it from the ground.  After trying several times, the boy said, “It’s impossible.”

“Pulling out these plants is just like changing bad habits,” said the man. “When habits are young, it is easy to pull them out. When they take hold they are much harder to uproot.”

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When others trust you, they believe that you’ll do what you say you’ll do and keep your promises. You show integrity when what you believe matches what you do.

Figuring out the “right thing to do” can be difficult. Imagine that a cashier gives you too much change. Are you honest and return the extra money or are you dishonest and keep the money? Sometimes the choice that matches our values could be costly or inconvenient.

Basic concepts of trustworthiness:

• Be honest
• Don’t deceive, cheat or steal
• Be reliable; do what you say you’ll do
• Be loyal
• Have the courage to do the right thing
• Build a good reputation
• Keep your promises

Teach trustworthiness with T.E.A.M. 

• Teach: Show your child how using the tool below can help them make good choices.
• Enforce: Praise your child when they make good choices. Provide fair consequences for dishonesty and deceit.
• Advocate: Talk to your child about times in your life (and listen to theirs) when it has been hard to be honest or keep promises.
• Model: Be a good role model by doing what you say you’ll do.

Discussion starter
Ask your child what they think: is there harm in a little white lie? Here’s one way to decide. If upon learning of the lie, would the person lied to thank you for caring or feel betrayed or manipulated?

Excellence with Integrity Tool:  Integrity-In-Action Check List
When making a decision, ask yourself these questions to help make sure your decision matches your values.

• If the situation was reversed, is this how I would want to be treated? (Golden Rule Test)
• Will I feel good about this afterwards – no regrets, no guilt? (Conscience Test)
• Will my parents be proud of this? (Parent Test)
• Would I want this reported on the front page of the newspaper? (Front-Page Test)
• Would I want to live in a world where everybody did this? (What-If-Everybody-Did-This Test)

What if it is still not clear what to do? 

• Stop!
• Think it over some more
• Seek additional insight from people whose character you respect.

Want to learn more? Check out our Family’s Guide to Teaching Good Character

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From our guest contributor, Dr. Michele Borba.

There are many ways people show respect to others, and the more aware that students are of what those actions look and sound like, the more likely they are to incorporate those behaviors in their daily lives.

Here are 35 activities students can do to learn the meaning and value of respect. There’s one (and a few more) for each day of the month.

1. Every day this week give a sincere compliment to someone. Create a weekly planner that will help you track your behavior. Each day you must write who you gave the compliment to and describe their reaction.
2. Look up the definition of respect. Write it down. Now describe ways you have acted respectfully or disrespectfully this week.
3. Make a list of people you think are respectful and why you added them to your list.
4. Think of someone who is respectful and talk about why they would be a good friend.
5. Discuss why acting respectful is important.Work alone or with a partner to create a song, a rap, or a chant about respect. Your words should tell why respect is important and how it could make the world a better place. Write the rap on a piece of paper and be ready to respect it to the group if called upon.
6. What are three ways you can show your teacher respect? Circle the one you will do today.
7. Name three ways you can show your parents respect? Which is the one you do most often? Which one do you need to boost?
8. Make a list of things people say who are respectful. Here are a few: “please.” “Thank you.” “I appreciate that.” “May I hold the door?” “Pardon me.” “I’m sorry I offended you.”
9. Make a collage of people do who are respectful. Here are a few: hold the door open for someone who needs help, listen without interrupting, don’t talk back, whine, or sass, throw away trash. Cut out picture from magazines or newspaper or draw them on a poster.
10. Watch a half hour TV show. Who was respectful or disrespectful, and why?
11. Interview someone and ask what’s one way to show respect to another person. Write it.
12. List five ways we could show greater respect for our environment.
13. Look in the newspaper and find an example of someone who is showing respect. Paste in on a paper and then describe why you feel it is respectful.
14. What would you do if an adult was disrespectful to you? Suppose the grown-up yelled at you for something you didn’t do. What do you say? What do you do? Describe your answer in 50 words.
15. Design a bumper sticker about respect. Include on the bumper sticker: the word Respect, a motor or slogan for why you should use it and at least three words that describe it.
16. Describe a respectful way to answer the phone, email or text. What would be a disrespectful way?
17. Suppose you’re invited to your friend’s home for a family dinner. What are some ways you could show respect and courtesy when your first arrive? At their table? When you leave? Write at least 50 words.
18. Cut a long strip of butcher paper 3 x 36” (or use adding machine tape). Roll each of the ends around a pencil and tape the ends to the pencil. Use crayons, colored pencils or ink pens to draw a scene of what respect looks and sounds like in action. Roll up your movie and be ready to share your story.
19. Make a campaign poster about respect. Make sure you include the word “Respect” and two reasons why someone would want to vote for having respect at your school. You could use construction paper, felt pens, crayons, magazine cut-outs and templates.
20. Look up the word “respect” in a dictionary. Find at least 10 different words that mean almost the same thing as “respectful.” These words are called synonyms. Write each synonym on a paper strip. Link your paper strips together to make a chain and staple the ends of each link.
21. Use glue to write on bright-colored paper a few statements that respectful people would say to put a smile on someone else’s face. Now carefully sprinkle the letters with glitter. You’ve made Sparkle Statements!
22. Design a mobile using paper, string, and a clothes hanger. The mobile must show at least four different ways you can show respect to yourself, other people, and property.
23. Read about John Muir. How did he show respect to the environment?
24. List at least five synonyms for the word respect.
25. Draw a picture of your head and cut it out. Or make your silhouette by standing in front of an overhead projector. Have a friend trace the silhouette that appears on a piece of paper taped on the wall. Cut out your silhouette. What kinds of things would a respectful character do? Write or draw at least 8 characteristics of respectful people inside the silhouette. Circle ones that you do.
26. Make a banner about respect. You could make it from cardboard, burlap, material, wallpaper or construction paper. Decorate your banner with pictures and word cutouts that show respect. Include at least 10 ways to show respect to other people.
27. Cut out a newspaper or magazine article about someone in sports or politics who showed respect. What did they do to demonstrate respect?
28. Write a commercial about respect. Try to sell respect so others will want to start using it. For instance, say something positive that might happen in the world if more people showed respect to one another.
29. Write a word for each letter in the word respect that means almost the same thing.
30. List five antonyms for the word respect.
31. Make a collage for respect on a piece of poster board. Draw pictures or paste magazine pictures that show different ways you can show respect to others.
32. Find at least five pictures of people showing respect to others. Make a collage.
33. Write a paragraph describing how the world would be different if more people showed respect toward one another.
34. Create a recipe for respect. What ingredients do you need?
35. Design a campaign button that would help someone understand what respect means.

Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, parenting expert, TODAY show contributor and author of 22 books including The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. 

Dr. Borba’s latest book, UNSELFIE: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World will be in print June 2016. 

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With thousands of books to choose from, it can be an overwhelming task to find books to help teach character.  Here’s a few book suggestions to start conversations about respect.

Apple Pie Fourth of July by Janet S. Wong
Best for: Grades Prek-3
ISBN 13: 978-0618238552
Shocked that her parents are cooking Chinese food to sell in the family store on this all-American holiday, a feisty Chinese-American girl tries to tell her mother and father how things really are. But as the parade passes by and fireworks light the sky, she learns a lesson of her own.

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The Rain Came Down by David Shannon
Best for: Grades Prek-3
ISBN 13: 978-0545138505
Once upon a sunny day, the sky clouded over and the rain came down. The chicken squawked, the baby cried, the traffic snarled, the groceries fell, the people bickered, and still, the rain came down.

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The Story of Ruby Bridges by Robert Coles
Best for: Grades 2-5
ISBN 13: 978-0439472265
In 1960, Ruby, a young African-American girl, entered a whites-only school in New Orleans. Even though she had to pass through crowds of angry protesters, Ruby bravely walked into the school. Every day for months, Ruby persevered. White parents pulled their children out of the school, and Ruby and her teacher were alone in the classroom. Still, Ruby and her family would not give in.

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Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Lai
Best for: Grades 3-5
ISBN 13: 978-0061962790
Awards:  Newbery Honor and National Book Award for Young People’s Literature
Based on the author’s own childhood and written in free-verse poems, this unforgettable story captures a fierce girl’s struggles to find her place in her family, in her new home, and in the world. Hà has only ever known Saigon: the thrills of its markets, the joy of its traditions, and the warmth of her friends close by. But now the Vietnam War has reached her home. Hà and her family are forced to flee as Saigon falls, and they board a ship headed toward hope—toward America.

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The Watsons Go to Birmingham – 1963 by Christopher Paul Curtis
Best for: Grades 6-8
ISBN 13: 978-0440228004
Awards:  Newbery Honor Book, Coretta Scott King Honor Book
Enter the world of ten-year-old Kenny and his family, the Weird Watsons of Flint, Michigan. When Momma and Dad decide it’s time for a visit to Grandma, Dad comes home with the amazing Ultra-Glide, and the Watsons head South to Birmingham, Alabama…toward one of the darkest moments in America’s history.

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Echo by Pa Munoz Ryan
Best for: Grades 6-8
ISBN 13: 978-0439874021

Awards: 2016 Newbery Honor
Enter the world of ten-year-old Kenny and his family, the Weird Watsons of Flint, Michigan. When Momma and Dad decide it’s time for a visit to Grandma, Dad comes home with the amazing Ultra-Glide, and the Watsons head South to Birmingham, Alabama…toward one of the darkest moments in America’s history.

A hilarious, touching, and tragic novel about civil rights and the impact of violence on one African American family.

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Ten Things I Hate About Me by Randa Abdel-Fattah
Best for: Grades 7-9
ISBN 10: 0545050561
Jamie just wants to fit in. She doesn’t want to be seen as a stereotypical Muslim girl, so she does everything possible to hide that part of herself. Even if it means pushing her friends away because she’s afraid to let them know her dad forbids her from hanging out with boys or that she secretly loves to play the darabuka (Arabic drums). But when the cutest boy in school asks her out and her friends start to wonder about Jamie’s life outside of school, her secrets threaten to explode. Can Jamie figure out how to be both Jamie and Jamilah before she loses everything?

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From guest contributor, Frank Sonnenberg.

A positive mental attitude can improve your health, enhance your relationships, increase your chances of success, and add years to your life.

Most people are bombarded by negativity each day. Sure, it’s easy to cast blame by saying you’re surrounded by negative people. The reality is that a lot of the negativity is self-inflicted…influenced by the company you keep and your perspective on life.

Let’s take a closer look at the negativity that we face every day:

• Arguments. Many arguments are the result of poor communication or the clash of opposing values and principles. People also argue to force their viewpoint on others or to just let off steam.

• Worry. Many people worry about losing control. They desire certainty in an uncertain world.

• Fear. Some folks fear the unknown. Whether their fear is real or imagined, perception is reality.

• Blame. When something goes wrong, people often look to cast blame on others. The result is that people usually watch out for #1 — themselves — often at the expense of those others.

• Complaints. Many people don’t complain because they’re unhappy. Compulsive complainers grumble out of boredom or a desire to turn an awkward moment of silence into a conversation starter. People also complain because it makes them feel better to vent.

• Criticism. There’s a difference between constructive feedback and biting criticism. While constructive feedback is offered with good intent, constant and biting criticism can lead to stress, anxiety, and reduced self-esteem.

• Mistrust. How much time is wasted and ill will created as a result of mistrust? People spend endless hours second-guessing intent, peering over their shoulders, and creating elaborate approval processes to check and recheck.

• Jealousy. When is enough, enough? We live in a society where many people aren’t satisfied with their own accomplishments. The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.

• Gossip (our national pastime). People gossip to fit into a group, fill a void in conversation, prove that they’re in the know, take revenge on a person, put someone in their place, or merely to gain attention.

It Pays to Be Positive

A positive attitude can boost your energy, heighten your inner strength, inspire others, and garner the fortitude to meet difficult challenges.

Here are several ways to adopt a positive attitude:

• Surround yourself with positive people. Spend time with people who are positive and supportive. Remember, if you get too close to a drowning victim, he may take you down with him.

• Be positive yourself. If you don’t want to be surrounded by negative people, what makes you think others do? Learn to master your own thoughts. For example:
  • When you visualize a goal, it makes you more likely to take the actions necessary to reach it. Visualize yourself winning the race, getting the promotion, accepting the award, or landing the new account.
  • Control your negative thinking. This can be accomplished in the following ways:
    • See the glass as half full.
    • Anticipate the best outcome.
    • Don’t view everything in extremes — as either fantastic or a catastrophe. This will help you reduce your highs and lows.
    • Mistakes happen. Negative people blame themselves for every bad occurrence, whether it was their fault or not. Don’t let this be you.

• Consciously resist negative thinking. Be cognizant of and mentally avoid negative thinking. This will help you modify your behavior.

• Be nice to yourself. If you criticize yourself long enough, you’ll start to believe it. This negativity can drag you down. It may be time to fire the critic and hire the advocate.

• Set realistic, achievable goals. Build confidence by setting realistic goals and by hitting a lot of singles rather than swinging for the fences.

• Keep it in perspective. Life is all about prioritizing the things that matter most in your life and focusing your efforts in these areas. Don’t let trivial things get you down. Learn to address or ignore small issues and move on. It’s time to sweat the big stuff.

• Turn challenges into opportunities. Instead of letting challenges overwhelm you, turn them into opportunities. (Rather than hitting the wall, climb over it or go around.)

• Count your blessings. Be grateful for the special things in your life rather than taking them for granted. Some people do this by giving thanks around the dinner table, keeping a written journal, or posting one special item each day on social media. Remember, some of the greatest possessions in life are free. Take every opportunity to make a wonderful new memory.

If you want to achieve happiness, better health, stronger relationships, and continued success, you may not have to look any further than the mirror. As the saying goes, “The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” Do you see the glass as half full or half empty? True happiness may depend on how you view the world and whom you look to for inspiration. It pays to be positive.

Frank is an award-winning author. He has written five books and over 300 articles. Frank was recently named one of “America’s Top 100 Thought Leaders” and nominated as one of “America’s Most Influential Small Business Experts.” Frank has served on several boards and has consulted to some of the largest and most respected companies in the world. Additionally, FrankSonnenbergOnline was named among the “Best 21st Century Leadership Blogs” and among the “Top 100 Socially-Shared Leadership Blogs.” Frank’s new book, Follow Your Conscience, was released November 2014. © 2016 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.

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