Have you ever spent hours on end trying to make a decision? Emily Boyd, our Drake University intern, shares what she has learned about making decisions as a young adult. 

When faced with decisions, how do you choose what is right versus wrong? Especially the big questions like where to go to college, where to live, and what friendships to keep. I’m no expert, but I have gained a lot of insight as I go through a journey many have taken once before.

My childhood consisted of asking my parents whether or not I could do something. Can I go to the movie? Can I get a car? Can you please not put mushrooms in this casserole? Yes or no and that was that. When senior year of high school finally rolled around, it was my turn to make the decision: college. After many college visits around Iowa, I made the decision to attend Drake University.

Many people would ask me if I was sure I was making the right decision. I would simply nod and say how excited I was, even though I had a deep fear of the unknown. Right before I took the big plunge into college, I spent a month overseas in Romania, volunteering my time with orphans and serving the city of Oradea. People from all over America came on this trip and as they shared their (non-Iowan) perspectives on life it finally just clicked.

Choosing to attend Drake didn’t have to be a right or wrong decision. I needed to make right in the decision. And making right to me meant being positive, treating everyone kindly, staying active and healthy, volunteering in the community, and of course being a good student. Taking it one step further, I wanted to be passionate about the things I was investing myself in, making it all count.

It’s now senior year of college and I have a whole new world ahead of me come May 2012. But, what a relief to know that whatever decision I make, I get to choose the attitude I want to have and the person I want to be. One of my favorite song lyrics says, draw a map, pick a path, take a breath, and run. Make a decision and pursue it with passion, today.

It’s easy to write someone off before we understand who they are and why they are that way. Has that happened to you before? Justin Brady from Test of Time Design is today’s guest blogger – he challenges the way we view those “squeaky wheels” in our lives. 

The squeaky wheel does, in fact, get the oil. This metaphor is remarkably accurate, conveying the idea that the loudest most obnoxious things are typically what get our attention. Some people clear away when this wheel is near them, while others avoid it entirely, hearing its approach from a distance. You can also be sure, the next time they encounter a wheel they may be hesitant to use it, checking one after the other to ensure they aren’t put through that irritating experience again. After all, what if it needs oil a second, or third, or fourth time?

Despite its accuracy, there is a small facet of the traditional adage that is often overlooked. The wheel probably wasn’t always squeaky. At one point in this wheel’s existence it was silent and helpful, transporting well-being from one spot to another. It was faithful, dependable and good, but along the path, something happened; it wasn’t maintained.

Maybe this squeaky wheel was overlooked or perhaps it went through a rougher patch than most wheels go through. Maybe it was maintained, but with the wrong kind of oil. Perhaps the person maintaining this wheel used something else entirely when they were just too busy doing other things.

We are quick to hate the squeaky wheel and simply wish it would be thrown away but consider, for whatever reason the squeaky wheel projects its unpalatable pandemonium, it’s likely it wasn’t given the care and attention it needed in the first place. What would have happened to that wheel, if it was maintained regularly? What if premium oil was used instead of oil that was just “good enough.” What if someone simply took the time? Could this small effort have prevented the wheel from being squeaky at all? What if all wheels were maintained from the start? Do you know of some wheels that haven’t received the maintenance they could benefit from? Do you think it would be worth your time?

Where are children learning character? John Mickelson, our guest blogger, strongly believes that character needs to be addressed not only in families, but in schools as well.

Some may question the wisdom of spending school time and resources educating children about character. After all, school is for the three R’s; character and manners are taught at home, right? I recently had an experience that proved this thinking outdated and reemphasized the urgent need for character-based education in our school system.

Last weekend I had the pleasure to volunteer with a great organization. We were tasked with giving away 97 bikes away to low-income students from the southeast side of Des Moines. The event was a culmination of literally hundreds of people donating money, tireless efforts of a top-notch staff, and thousands of hours of volunteer time. My two-year-old son and I got up early and happily sacrificed our Saturday morning for this noble cause.

We anxiously awaited in the crisp fall air for the children to arrive. The first group that came to me was a mom and two daughters, including the to-be recipient.  The only words spoken to me from any of them the entire time were from the recipient when she told me her name so I could check it off the list. I fitted her helmet, showed her how to work the lock, and gave her the bike.

No one, not the mom, recipient, or sister said thank you or showed any sign of gratitude. Once the bike was in hand, they all turned on their heels and headed for the exit, the mom chatting loudly on her cell phone as she had been doing the entire time.

I was dumbfounded and upset. I could not get over the poor example this mother had set for her daughter and realized sadly that it was likely that the daughter had probably never been taught manners and without intervention would probably perpetuate the cycle with her own kids in a few years.  This kid needed the Six Pillars of Character now and it was clear she was not going to receive that character-based education at home. She needed to receive it elsewhere and the most likely place would be within her school.

Thankfully the remaining eight of my nine recipients were overjoyed and gracious.  Many of the parents were choked up (and a little bit nervous as their kids took off like a NASCAR driver on their new bikes).  Their civility gave me hope, but also reminded me that others can slip through the cracks, which is why organizations like Character Counts In Iowa are so important in our schools.

Jim Hallihan, a board member and guest blogger, shares a story with us on the importance of communication between parents and coaches. 

For the first time ever at the Summer Iowa Games we had a fight between parents and coaches of a Gold Medal winning team in youth softball (12 and under). In the 2010 Games this same team had won the sportsmanship medals even thought they lost all the games by wide margins. So this year the coach decided to make the team more competitive  just two weeks before the Iowa Games by adding two players from other communities who were supposedly very good. Now remember these are 12 year olds.

Following the championship game a parent who was not happy with her daughter’s playing time assaulted the coach and the coach’s wife was assaulted by the unhappy parent’s niece. Three people were arrested including the coach on disorderly conduct. Even though the parent was completely out of line and probably was a problem all season long, adding players to make the team better is a recipe for disaster when you reduce playing time for those who have been on the team the entire season.

The most important thing coaches can teach is how to model the Six Pillars of Character and to develop better citizens. Communication between parents and coaches is essential with an emphasis on players learning the skills necessary to improve, having fun, as well as having an opportunity for equal playing time on the team.

When Brian Carico, our guest blogger, was introduced to Character Counts In Iowa, he quickly developed a passion for creating a school of character at Johnston Middle School.

Eleven years ago I was very fortunate to be hired for my first principal position.  I knew at the time that I needed to impact educational achievement through multiple resources and the first one was student character.  My father was a person that really taught me about integrity and honesty, but it was Jim Hallihan that put it together for me in the educational setting.

My first days as a principal I attended a training at Iowa State University.  During one of the breaks I found myself by Jim Hallihan’s office.  I knew he was involved with Character Counts In Iowa, but I wasn’t sure what it was.  After a little over an hour in his office I was convinced that our school was going to be a school of character!  Jim personified all of the great attributes that people of character demonstrate.  He was also an advocate for Character Counts In Iowa in our schools and through our conversation I was convinced that character was the number one element to student achievement.

As I continue through my career of working with students, staff and the community, I believe that pursuit of good character is the cornerstone of a successful school, family and community. I use the Six Pillars as goals in my personal and professional life.

In the front lobby at Johnston Middle School we have a quote by Martin Luther King it says, “The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically… Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education.”  If our students leave JMS being able to do this, then we have been successful and our students will continue to develop into people of character.

Being a constructive, positive and ethical role model are high priorities in Wendy Havemann’s parenting strategies. What strategies do you use in your relationships? Hear more from our youth involvement director.

Parenting is tough. With serious knowledge and understanding of character education, I have been a better parent. Character education enhances every aspect of my life. The key piece I see where it fits is in the type of behavior I am modeling and if my behavior matches my expectations for my family.

Being a constructive, positive and ethical role model is a very high priority in my parenting strategy. As a good role model I do my best to demonstrate the same behavior I am asking of my children.  I have also found it important to be transparent in my humanness – I make mistakes, I apologize, and I try to do better next time. To me, the only time a mistake is worthless is if nothing is learned from it. Life is a time of ongoing learning and growing and the growth does not stop until our hearts stop.

One technique that is helpful is to discuss around the dinner table positive things that happened throughout the day. If there were painful experiences, I use this as a time to re-frame those experiences and talk about how events can be looked on through a positive, character-based lens. Negative experiences need to be validated, but they do not need to stay negatively framed forever. If each person states something in the form of ‘I am grateful for…’ during dinner the energy in the family will rise and life may begin to look a bit better.

Parenting is the most rewarding and most challenging job in my life. Even though my children are adults, parenting never truly ends and I am grateful!

Are you standing on the courage of your convictions? Our guest blogger, Gabe Haugland, shares his story about joining the Iowa National Guard, stemmed from an encounter with a powerful quote. 

“Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it.” – Thomas Paine

I first encountered those words in 2004 while walking through the old Iowa Army National Guard armory on Dubuque Street in Iowa City with my cousin Tyler Davin, who had just enlisted that week. They were written in bold font on one of the walls inside the armory. And an encounter it was.

As I read that quote, Pain’s words pierced bone and flesh, emotion and reason, intellect and will, cutting straight to my core. It was as if Thomas Paine himself had thrown down the gauntlet in front of me and was now standing, with arms folded, waiting for my response.

In light of the many blessings God has bestowed on me by virtue of birth in this great nation, the logic of the conversation between Paine and myself that was was simple:

Paine: Gabe, do you expect me to reap the blessings of freedom here in the United States?

Gabe: Yes, clearly. Not only do I expect and receive those blessings daily, but I hae been so blessed it’s almost an afterthought anymore.

Paine: I appreciate your honesty.

Gabe: Minimal. Perhaps none. Thanks for asking.

And with that, our conversation ended. I knew what I had to do. I joined my cousin Tyler and enlisted into the Iowa National Guard later that week. It took every ounce of courage within me, but I carried out my conviction.

Of course military service is not for everyone, but it is not enough to cast our vote on Election Day and stand by the rest of the year, decade after decade, without doing much more than pulling a level. We must do more.

So stand on the courage of your convictions. Ask yourself what fatigue you’ve undergone for your country. And then ask yourself what more you can do. If you don’t, Thomas Paine may just have a word with you about character.

Does character matter in all of our interactions? In today’s guest blog, Deb Chiodo, principal at Moulton Elementary, shows us how to take simple steps toward excellence by focusing on our thoughts, words, and deeds.

When I first began my career at Moulton Elementary, I realized I wanted to instill a framework of intelligence, courage and honor in the students I taught. I carried that throughout my educational and teaching career. As my career continued I became principal of Cornell Elementary and through an invitation from Scott Raecker I became involved in Character Counts In Iowa.

CHARACTER COUNTS! is the perfect framework to promote the principles that we should all be governed by. It was the perfect catalyst for the ethics and ideals I wanted to instill in both my school and community as principal.  With that in mind, there are three ideas I want to share about why character must matter in everyday interactions.

First, character is present in everyday thoughts. Whether we realize it or not, what we think influences who we are. One of the ways character can be instilled is through focusing on our inner thoughts.  It is easy to become negative about ourselves, others and the world around us, but the more we instill our thoughts to be open-minded and tolerant, the easier it becomes to put them into action.

Second, deeds become the sum of our character practiced. Because of this, character must guide our actions towards others. While our thoughts shape our actions, our words towards others shape our reputations.  When speaking to others our words have to be honest and forgiving.

Finally, the deeds and actions character pushes us to pursue citizenship and responsibility.  Citizenship takes both our thoughts and words to ensure that we are good stewards to our environment and others.  When you combine that with responsibility, it gives us the drive to pursue excellence.  We must use these two Pillars to drive our actions, to persevere and always do what is right.

In today’s hectic world it becomes easy to lose sight of the simple humanity within each of us; the Six Pillars of Character are a small yet tangible reminder of the characteristics that reside in all. It is imperative we not lose sight of these basic rights that must be given and received no matter our perceived differences.  While I certainly do enjoy being in charge, I love the drive for excellence in education and the mission to impart strong values in our next generation even more.